


Cursed Heart

by FredAndGeorgeForever



Series: Cursed Series [1]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Canon Related, Coffee, Curses, Declarations Of Love, Drama & Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Glasses, Gwen Cooper & Ianto Jones Friendship, Ianto Jones & Toshiko Sato Friendship, Ianto Jones with glasses, Jack the Ripper Murders, Love Confessions, M/M, Owen Harper & Ianto Jones Friendship, POV Ianto Jones, POV Jack Harkness, Torchwood References, Witch Curses, Witchcraft, Witches, brief mentions of abuse, slightly horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:34:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27206698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FredAndGeorgeForever/pseuds/FredAndGeorgeForever
Summary: "Don't worry, I've chosen the least evil curse for you." He kept his jaws firmly closed but one wave of her wand made them stand wide open. He watched as she brought the cup to his lips and feared the worst.
Relationships: Estelle Cole/Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper & Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Ianto Jones & Toshiko Sato, Jack Harkness & Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness & Team Torchwood, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness/Other(s), Lisa Hallett/Ianto Jones, Owen Harper & Ianto Jones, Owen Harper/Toshiko Sato
Series: Cursed Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033689
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	1. The end is where we start

Once upon a time, Jack had been a happy man. He had it all, a loving partner, an adorable daughter and parents who accepted him. That was until the Daleks invaded his world and killed almost everyone they found. Most of his friends and family died a quick and - pretty - painless death. Being robbed of their lives before they knew it. But others were captured and held prisoner by the creatures that wanted nothing more than world domination or better yet conquer the world. He on the other hand could just get out in time. His time at the agency had provided him with one good thing, his vortex manipulator. The little device always rested on his wrist. So when hell broke loose he ran as hard as he could towards where he knew his family was, but he'd been too late. They were gone. Dead. So he activated the manipulator and went back in time. 

Now he was the stranger who had to move houses quite frequently because something suspicious was going on with him. The papers talked about it, but how wrong could they've been.

From the moment he arrived in Victorian England something spooky had been happening. It had been a few years after he arrived that he finally gave in to that feeling. Because at first he had been hellbent on trying to get back to his family, but something happened with his vortex manipulator - it started smoking - and he had no way out of the place he'd never been.

Something drew him to a woman, a young woman who was in need of some money. And of course, he had it, if the time agency had provided him with one thing to survive, it was plenty of knowledge how to earn quick money, so he had enough to share with others. People warned him about her, the superstition of witches hadn't really left throughout the years. She was supposed to be a great witch who lured her unexpected victims to her hideout, they claimed. He'd laughed at their faces and assured them that nothing was going to happen while he drank his ale. How wrong he could've been. At first, it seemed very normal, he knocked on her door, she opened up and asked her if he wanted to drink something. He agreed and sat down on the kitchen chair she had available for him - all the other chairs were occupied with this and that's. All the herbs and unidentified objects should've been enough, but with his glued-on smile, he hid his inner turmoil and waited for her return.

It all seemed like a perfectly normal situation until he tasted her 'drink' and began to feel quite weird. His muscles started to ache just before they decided to stop working at all and he sat petrified on his spot. Nothing worked as he sat there staring at her cackling. He only just noticed her holding an ancient book in her arms and immediately he knew that his friends and neighbours were right.

" I know who you are  _ Jack _ . You are not who you tell you are." She said in a voice just a few octaves higher than how she'd been talking before. When it was certain that he couldn't return to his own time, he'd changed his name to someone else's. Javic wasn't a name you'd find in this time. So he went with Jack as it was close to his real name and something people wouldn't find weird. He had to change all of his clothes, even the military coat he so loved. It was currently lying in a box in the bottom of his drawer. Maybe there would come a day where he could wear it again.

He couldn't respond but if he could talk he would've yelled at her: ‘’What are you talking about?’’ But he couldn’t.

"You are from a future where men in metal exist. Where we can fly in tin boxes and where love isn't just between men and women. Seems like a perfect future." She responded to her own words. He watched as she walked in front of him. Taking bottles from shelves on which he could now see stood bottles with herbs and dead animals. Even a few eyes and tongues made the selection. 

" So why aren't you there? Why have you been here for these years?" She wondered as she held a glass full with green slimy toads in front of his eyes.

"Ah I know, your wrist strap doesn't work. The thing you travelled with." It was like she was digging through his brain and looking at every memory he had. 

" Such a lovely family. Of course, they're dead, so there's no one you could get back to if you even had the slightest possibility." She kept adding things from the glass bottles into her cauldron, ever so often looking into her book at the open page. As he wasn't able to move he had no idea what she was reading in the book - that he was sure of to be a spellbook.

"It doesn't happen much that a man so willingly comes to my lair. You really should've known better than to come to a stranger's house, Javic." Out of her long skirt, she retrieved a wand and held it under his nose.

" See what this is? It's the wand of a witch. And if you didn't yet know, I'm going to use it." She swished once with it and all of a sudden his mouth complied and he could talk.

"Why are you doing this?" Was the only thing he could think of. He'd only met her once and she had been such a lovely lady back then, nothing had made him believe that there was anything out of the ordinary. He should’ve known better.

"Why do you think? Oh yes, you haven't been here long enough to know. Let me tell you my story." The concoction in the cauldron behind her bubbled a purple colour as she stirred it before she turned back to him.

" I come from a family of witches, we hid ourselves away so we could live in peace. That worked for a couple of centuries until four years ago the villagers began to find my nan suspicious. We tried everything but she was burned at the stake without any real proof, she just looked different." Her long red hair swished through the room as she quickly turned around.

" Then not even a week later they drowned my mum. I'll never forgive them for it. So I hid even better and started planning my revenge. I will kill, curse or bewitch every man, woman and child of this village." His head was full of questions as he took her story in. If he could, he would've tried to do something, but as the only part of his body that worked was his mouth he couldn't really do anything helpful at all.

" But why me? I haven't done anything to you! I didn't even know you before yesterday." He proclaimed as he tried to plea himself free. 

"I know your type, You're just as bad as the others, maybe you don't prejudice witches or are afraid of the supernatural, but I can see what you've done. I can see how many deaths you are responsible for. With how many men and women you've slept before you found your partner and after you came to be stuck here."

" Those are called one night stands! There's nothing wrong with that!" If it was possible she seemed to become even more furious. In her eyes, little flames were dancing and she was actually producing fire with her hands. The balls of fire were quickly extinguished when she knew what happened. The fire in her eyes was still there when she turned around and flicked her wand once at the concoction. It started glowing and the light in the cottage grew blindingly sharp before it disappeared at all. It was pure luck that he didn't turn blind. She reached for his currently empty cup and put it away somewhere. When she came back she was carrying a new cup and scooped some of the purple sludge in it. He could see a smooth but smoothie-like drink. With an evil smile, she walked towards him with the cup.

"Don't worry, I've chosen the least evil curse for you." He kept his jaws firmly closed but one wave of her wand made them stand wide open. He watched as she brought the cup to his lips and feared the worst.

"Now be a good boy and swallow." It tasted just as gross as it looked. Slowly she poured it into his mouth, enough to make his swallow reflex start to kick in, but not enough to make him choke. Without wanting to he swallowed the purple goo.

"See, you can be good." She told him like she was talking to a toddler.

"Do you want to know what is going to happen? Because I know you're curious about your faith." He couldn't answer her. Suddenly he felt very tired and he had to keep his eyes from closing. But luckily for him, she felt very sure of her case and started talking further.

" You can save yourself. Be sure of that, but only one big but. Oh and this is my favourite part. You have to open up to a loved one about your past, let them see who you really are. If they believe you and accept you then and only then you have a possibility to lift the curse. But you have to love that person and he or she has to love you back in return. But, if they don't and you tell them the truth then their minds will get warped and they'll want nothing more than to kill themselves. And after that happened you have to bring some of their organs to me, do you understand? Oh, I almost forgot, of course, you can't mention the curse until it has been lifted. Ah so cute, sleep tight!" Those were the last words before he fell asleep and woke up in his own house. At first, he thought it had been a dream and no curse had touched him. But how wrong he could've been. That morning he'd missed the note she left for him. When he came back a few hours later, more confused than ever, he found the note and a few things in a basket she'd placed on his table.

The note read:  _ If ever you need it, you'll always be able to find me. _

In the basket lay a book, inside it was a thorough description of her to summon her.

But the most interesting thing he found inside was his own vortex manipulator. Another note was attached to it.

_ With this, you can show them the stars, show them your true self. But remember that you won't be able to really go there, it's only an illusion. I've used one of my spells to make sure of it. _

_ Much love,  _

_ Agatha Firewrist _

She'd thought of everything it seemed. 

That night, while he tried to pretend like nothing had happened to his mates, the most gruesome and horrific thing happened to him. He had no idea exactly what happened, the details were a bit vague. But of one thing he was sure, he'd died. He'd felt the knife stab through his heart and he could see the blood flowing out of him in waves. Scared as hell he'd accepted his faith, it was better than living a cursed life, and closed his eyes. The darkness was all surrounding and he knew there was something there, but before he had the chance to find out, he woke up gasping and flailing in the empty alley. There was a hole in his shirt and it was steeped with blood, but no wound could be found  _ anywhere _ on his body. That was when he had enough and gathered the old fashioned map and went to find her. The way she opened the door was like she'd been expecting him. Her smile was just as evil as it had been the day before and finally his brain accepted that this was going to be his new reality.

"What have you done to me?" He demanded of her as soon as he was inside and the door had closed. It wasn't like anyone would hear them as the nearest house was 15 miles away.

"I assume you've found out." She simply answered and began to sweep her floor.

"Explain!" He said and got her attention. She looked rather bored as she put away the broom full of twigs. 

"I made you immortal. Hadn't I told you?" She told him with a creepy smile. Her hands folded under her breast - which made them stand out even more - and walked closer towards him. Her pointy finger edged itself under his chin and she lifted it up so he would look into her emerald eyes.

" Oh sweetie, for as long as the curse flows through your veins you will stay immortal." She declared and it felt like his whole world had just crumbled to pieces.


	2. New things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the nice comments, they made my day.

His first lover, or maybe the better word would be his first victim, had been one out of love. It was 1888 and Whitechapel was the perfect place to blend in. But because of the many immigrants, it was packed with many people, young and old alike. The overpopulation was one of the reasons for the economic downfall, which caused many women to start prostitution as a way to make easy money. He'd met her one night when he was out on the streets and she was trying to lure him into her bed. She looked beautiful and way too young to become a prostitute.

He'd tried to rescue her and her son from poverty and in the process fell in love. Back in those days, love came easily, it happened pretty quick. He'd been so foolish. Expecting others to feel the same. But that's when the stories started. She'd been a prostitute for a long while by then - and maybe he did have a hero complex - but he felt like maybe if he could help then she and her son could have a better life. It had killed him to see her, to watch her mind turn crazy. To hear her talking about death and to see her actually doing the deed. Right in front of him, she'd slid her own throat. He could still feel the blood seeping through his clothes as he watched her lifeless body fall to the cold hard ground. 

He could still see the blood covering every inch of her lovely body. Could see her eyes, once so full of life, turn into lifeless marbles.

"Remember your task." Rang through the air. With tears running down his cheeks he did what he had to do. He took the knife she'd been holding in her hand and began to cut with a surgeon's precision into her body. The witch never told him which organs she wanted so he took his pick. Out went the heart and on an impulse, he cut away one of her kidneys. It would have to be enough. He gathered them in her coat - which he had taken off of her body - and wrapped it up like a bag. With a final goodbye and an intense feeling of pity for her and her son, he left the dark and dirty alley and went in search of the one that cursed him. His clothes and face were splattered with blood and his hands were covered in the sticky substance, so he had no idea why no one noticed him or found it a little peculiar to see him walking down the streets like that. Later he found out that yes, someone had seen, but luckily no one had seen his face. Only it did mean that he had to move houses to not look suspicious. He knew exactly where he needed to go in order to find the young witch and within no time he opened up her door with a bang after he'd kicked it in, and threw the makeshift bag on the ground. The organs flew out of it and landed in different spots on the wooden floor. The woman in front of him didn't exactly look pleased with her trophy of the day, but he wasn’t either. The way she had killed herself, it would be forever etched on his retina. Would forever haunt him in his life. But maybe the worst thing about it all was that the witch seemed to enjoy his suffering. The man who had previously latched himself onto her was smiling just like her. He ignored the man as he walked up to the witch.

" What have I done to you that you have to make my life such a living hell?" He screamed and took her by the collar. She never stopped smiling as she probably already knew he wouldn't kill or harm her. It wouldn't mean the end of the curse, he would just live on. So it wasn't even worth the trouble he would have to go through.

" Ah but you forget, I can do whatever I want to do. No mum to hold me back, no nan to tell me what I do wrong. So why shouldn't I make your life miserable, just like your people have made mine." Only minutes later he'd dropped her on the ground and stormed out of the cottage. He'd fled to his home, took everything of any value and travelled to another part of town. There he took a room in the first lodging house he could find. It wasn't even that expensive for him - with having enough money to spare - fourpence a night for a single bed. And it was the perfect place to stay low for a while. But as time moved on and feelings arose, the incident started all over again. It was only two months later and he thought he'd found the perfect woman. She was kind, hard-working, lovely to others, but unfortunately had the bad luck to be born poor. He'd tried to persuade her to take his money, but she would have none of it. She wanted to earn her money fair and square. But her love for him was only a show, something out of a book. Fictional. Never existed at all. The pain, the guilt, the heart-wrenching feelings hit him all over again as he watched her try to claw her eyes out, saw her stabbing herself with the knife and eventually kill herself.

\--0O0--

The papers called him Jack the Ripper, several cases of elderly women had been added to the file without ever finding the murderer. He'd never seen them, but as all the bodies had been found with missing guts and an object shoved into their vagina’s or a knife in their abdomen, the police were sure those murders were all from the same murderer. Throughout the years he'd thought back many times to the women who's life he'd destroyed. He could still remember every detail of their final night together. How he'd shown them the stars, let them see his world and so much more. Every time he did that there was a sprinkle of hope inside of him that he would one day go back to the place where he'd been happiest. In the early 1900s, his death count stood on 20. Every person was one too many, but he couldn't help himself. After the last, Edith, he decided that it was enough for a while. He took his stuff and started travelling around the UK, but then the war started and he got enlisted. The horrors he saw on the field, in the trenches, it broke him more than what the witch had done to him and the women who's life he'd unwillingly taken. 

He hated to see how the women murdered themselves. Most stabbed their abdomens and mutilated their bodies before they finally relieved themselves from their gruesome death. Some even clawed at their eyes, trying to remove their eyeballs. He always took their hands and tried to keep them from doing it. But to no avail, the curse was too strong. After they'd died, he took their organs in a bag and left their bodies alone. The morning after when the police found their death and mangled bodies he found out that they had been even more mutilated than how he'd left them. It hurt him even more that there were people, so heartless, to mangle the body even further or worse try to be cool and copycat the events.

He tried, he really tried to keep himself hidden from other people. To not fall in love, but his heart betrayed him many times over the years. Sometimes it ended relatively well, other times a massacre would ensue. One case, in particular, he'd fled as soon as he could, he loved her and he didn't want to see her end as all the others had done. Estelle. Even though he knew that her love for him ran deeper than the roots of her childhood tree went into the ground, he didn't want to risk her death. He loved her too much for that. So with the war going on and all the men having to enlist, he took his chance and ran as far away as he could. If things had been different, and he'd been a normal man, he would've returned to her after the war. Back to her at the farm and back to the lovely people who had welcomed him in as their own son so many years ago. He really missed something like that, warmth, family, love. The love of your family was the strongest and warmest love you could get. Many times before he'd heard the saying, blood is thicker than water. And maybe that was true, looking back he could say that there was nothing better than a loving mother and father. But it could get pretty dark there sometimes too. Nobody was perfect.

As he wandered through the almost empty streets of Cardiff he felt like there was something missing. Something… something was wrong. But he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Maybe the bloody witch had finally died after having lived for over a century. He was sure she had something done to her as nobody was able to live for 150 years. Maybe she'd drank from the elixir of life, or found the fictional ambrosia - if that even existed and wasn't something out of a fairytale. It was then, while he was distracted that he bumped into someone. He quickly apologized before a fight could start and walked further. The young man with his sexy blue eyes and brown hair looked back confused at the immortal man but after that just walked away. Jack let out a sigh of relief, he really wasn't in the mood to have another argument. Someone had recognised him that morning from an old picture out of the 19th century. He'd declared the man crazy, which of course had led to a heated argument why he dared to call him that. But it had done one thing, it had distracted the man enough that he'd been able to snitch the photograph from his grasp. But It had given him a black eye in return. Of course, the blunt man didn't know that his immortality practically healed all his wounds before they could really start to hurt him. At first, the adrenaline would be pumping through his body, which was why he couldn't feel the pain in the beginning. But later, when all the adrenaline had left his body, the wounds would start to hurt pretty bad and heal in no time at all. Cardiff wasn’t that bad, it had lots of people and many tourists wanting to experience the Welsh way of life. It was easy to blend in and the best was, people didn't ask him questions as to why he didn’t change. It wasn’t like he’d been there long enough for people to notice actually, not long before he’d left the booming city of London. His apartment-like house provided him with everything he would need, it wasn't like he ventured inside much. With a decent-sized living room, a bathroom, storage room, kitchen and quite a big bathroom he felt like he had everything he would need out of a house.

Over the years he'd been able to do his own thing. Love was out of the question, so he'd sought out many lovers during the years. As many male as he'd had female bed partners. But there was always something missing. Something in his heart that missed what he'd had in the past. Love. Being loved and loving another was something he deeply missed in his life. But was it worth the risk?

Love these days didn't come as quick as it did back then. Not as easy as it had been. But then again, had love ever been anything but complex? Only, something told him that it was going to be worth the risk. Worth the pain that would undoubtedly come.

\--0O0--

He'd denied himself another shot at a happy life for a while now, more than once he'd bumped into the mysterious man at the coffee bar. His piercing blue eyes haunted him into his nightmares - when he actually slept - and after a while, he finally gave in. It was actually the man that made his thoughts change as he sat on the other bench at the same table on a busy day. He was quietly sipping his coffee while he watched every corner of the young man's body. He was hunched over trying to write something down in that little book of his when he finally looked up and caught his eye. One of the cleaner's later told him that they had been staring at each other for half an hour before they began to speak, but for him, it felt more like seconds. He could drown in those bright blue eyes of his.

"I'm Ianto." The man said to him - after a while - and held out his hand.

" Jack." He said and shook the young man's hand. It had been the start of something new.

" I've seen you here many times before," Ianto began while he closed his little notebook of sorts and hurried it back in his bag next to him on the boot.

"Great deduction, Sherlock. I've seen you here too, but weirdly enough you never seem to be very happy. So… Ianto, care to tell me why you're so down?" Jack asked as he finished the last sip of his cappuccino and put the paper cup down on the table.

" I don't even know you, why should I tell you that?" Ianto asked him hesitantly. His face showed that he had been doubting whether he should tell him.

" That's fair. But you did just willingly tell me your name, so. And well, you'll never have to see me again after today, so why not tell me. I can be a great listener when I need to!" He eventually answered. He really wanted to see Ianto again if he was honest with himself, but only if Ianto wanted that too. So if the young man decided against ever meeting up again, then he would respect that.

"Alright, well, come a little closer." He exclaimed after a deep sigh. His hand waved to him and beckoned him closer.

"The coffee here is shit. But it's one of the only places I can get some. My fiance, well, she hates coffee. Despises it really. So it's here, at work or my sister's place. Somehow I managed to find friends who don’t like coffee  _ that  _ much and prefer tea later in the day." He shook his head in disgust.

"Tell me about it. My past friends were exactly the same. I have a state of the art coffee machine, but no, all they want is tea or beer." He automatically responded and a smile made its way to his face. Good memories of his past flooded his mind as he thought back about all the friends he'd had throughout time. There were too many to count.

"Then what are you doing here?" Ianto asked confused from his spot opposite him.

"I don't know, really, my best guess is it's for the companion. I mean, everyone's busy living their own life, it gets a little lonely from time to time." He wasn't sure but he could've bet on everything he had that a sad hue had taken over his face. He was still quite heartbroken about everything that had happened. 

"I know, it sucks, I experienced the same when I moved away from home. But I was very fortunate to meet my Lisa." It seemed like Ianto was starting to dream away. The love could be read from his face while his eyes averted from him. Secretly it broke his heart to see him so in love. Over time - with every time he saw him, but didn’t yet know one another - he'd started imagining starting a relationship with this young man if he'd wanted that of course. So to know that he was engaged to be married hurt him in practically the same way it had hurt to see those women killing themselves. But he kept smiling, kept his spirit up. Ianto didn't need to know his inner turmoil.

"I can only hope that day will ever come for me. Maybe you could tell me about her. How is she? I can see you love her very much." He asked and thought about Ianto’s life, instead of the thing he wanted the most, the thing he missed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it and please leave a review and a kudo.  
> XXXFredAndGeorgeForever


	3. The story unfolds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Mentions of abuse

He became fast friends with Ianto Jones, extraordinary. His heart had found peace with the fact that the wonderful, sexy and definitely loveable Ianto would never be his. Instead, a wonderful friendship had bloomed over time. They told each other all of their secrets.

Wedding plans were taking over his life as he helped Ianto deal with his bridezilla at home. None of their friends had expected that Lisa would get so excited, so obsessed with getting married. So Ianto had sought cover many times at his home when Lisa went too far. They were only 5 days away from the wedding - February the 14th was going to be their big day, Lisa's idea - and the closer they got the more he could see that the stress was getting to Ianto. He didn't seem to be the same, but the only thing he could do was be a good friend and support him through it all.

The only thing he'd never seen coming was opening the door in the middle of the night only to see Ianto Jones on his doorstep with several packed suitcases with him. His face looked distraught as he cast his eyes to the ground. His shoulders were hunched and even in the faint light, he could see the tear tracks on his young face.

"I didn't know where else to go, sorry." He exclaimed as a way of introduction. He simply stepped aside and let the Welshman in without asking any questions. With all the suitcases inside and Ianto firmly, and securely, placed on the couch he started to prepare some coffee for both of them. It was going to be a long night. 

With two steaming coffee cups in hand, he walked towards the couch where Ianto was hiding his face in his hand and was hunched down. Something big must've happened for him to come in the middle of the night. And maybe even weirder was that he hadn't taken over making the coffee. Ianto Jones and his coffee was something you shouldn't get in-between of. He always nagged that he made it the wrong way and batted away his hands only to take over. One time he'd even found him talking sweet words to the machine.

" Not that I don't like you being here, but maybe you should tell me why exactly. Ianto, what is going on?" He asked as he sat down next to the young man on the couch. Ianto looked up with tears in his eyes, a longing, for something, shown in his glistening eyes as he watched the space in front of him. Carefully he handed the Welshman his own - already - favourite mug filled to the brim with his special brand. Carefully Ianto took a sip first, let out a sigh, and lowered the mug - with both his hands - on top of his jeans. He turned around slightly so he was facing him.

" It's… it's Lisa!" He proclaimed after a short while. His eyes once so full of love when he spoke of her were now full of hatred and betrayal.

"She's… not who I thought she was." He started off, it took a while for him to finish the whole story, but patiently he waited until he was done.

"I was at a mates house tonight and told her I wouldn’t be home until 12, she told me she was going to get an early night in. I came home a bit earlier because I wasn’t feeling that well. And uhm… when I opened the door… there was a trail of clothes laying on the ground. I… I… found her with another man, screwing him from atop. We… fought, a lot, after that. Turns out she was screwing him behind my back for years now. She claims she would’ve ended it today. After the sex. But I don’t know what to believe anymore.’’ Tears started flooding his eyes as he told him about the occurrence. Quickly he put away his coffee and pried the - still full - coffee cup from Ianto’s fingers. It seemed harder than he’d thought at first chance, but in the end, he got there. He took Ianto in a manly hug and could feel the Welshman breaking down in his arms. Loud sobs could be heard throughout the air as he held the man as good as he could. He himself was wearing nothing more than a pristine white shirt and a pair of boxers but it would have to do for now.

For what felt like an hour he held the young man like his life depended on it. When the sobs finally became silent, but tears still fell down his cheeks, he took his head away from Ianto’s shoulder and looked him in the eye. His traitorous heart wanted to hunt down the woman and do something to her that neither one would like. But he had the decency to deny himself that pleasure and stay where he was needed the most. 

His hand went to the young Welshman’s chin and lifted it up so Ianto would be looking him in the eye.

‘’I know it hurts, and I’m not going to lie to you, it will keep hurting for a while. But don’t let that get to you. ‘’ He told him, he’d been through his own fair share of heartbreak - Ianto did know that, but not the whole truth - but even after all this time, it still felt like he couldn’t handle it all.

‘’At first, I was just so pissed… I… I wanted to hit her. ‘’ His hands covered up his face in embarrassment when he told him that. It was understandable where he came from. The abuse he’d had to endure in his life was due to alter him someday. But not one time had his precious Ianto given in to the feelings he’d had. Not one time had he become or even felt like his dad.

‘’It’s okay.’’ He tried, but he didn’t fall for that.

‘’No, it’s not okay, Jack. Don’t you understand? When I give in to that feeling, I'll be just like him. I just… can’t.’’ His hands were shaking as the young Welshman started to reach forwards and pick up his mug. Before he could reach it Jack swatted his hand away.

‘’Don’t otherwise you'll spill it.’’

‘’Okay. Well, so I just locked myself in the bathroom to try and control myself. I have no idea for how long. But afterwards, I just packed my stuff as quick as I could and got out of there. She kept screaming behind me that I had to come back and all, but I just couldn’t. I had to get away from there, but I didn’t know where else to go. All of our friends thought of us as the best couple ever. They’d have a hard time accepting us breaking it off. And I don’t know about my sister but she’d be pretty pissed off at Lisa. But I can’t come to her in the middle of the night expecting her to let me stay. She has enough to worry about.’’ His big round sad eyes turned glassy as he stared at something in front of him. A quiver went through his body as he imagined what could’ve been. 

‘’Can I stay here for a while? Until I've found somewhere else? I just can’t go back to her.’’

‘’Of course, you know you're always welcome here." His flawless face started to weakly smile up at him. They stayed up all throughout the night, simply talking to each other about life. About heartbreak and about how it could've been. There hadn't been a bone in his body that had doubted the love Ianto had felt for Lisa, they had seemed like such a lovely couple. But the few times he'd met Lisa hadn't altered his point of view. It felt weird.

Before he knew it it was time to prepare himself for the day. Lots of coffee and an unhealthy dose of sugar had kept him awake during the night.

" I've got to be somewhere today, do you?" He asked the young man on his couch questioningly. He was fully clothed already when he put on his boots and coat, his favourite grey coat swishing behind him as he ran through his apartment in search of his keys. He was really late!

"No, I'll just stay here." He told her with a very hoarse voice. His melancholy heart skipped a beat as he glanced at his anguished friend.

"Alright, are you going to be okay? If you need something or just want to talk, it doesn't matter about what, just call me, okay?" The young man nodded but wasn't even glancing his way. He was peering out of the window at something he had no idea of. When he finally found his keys he walked to the door in a hurry. Opening it he was stopped by a woman on his doorstep. Her hand was raised which led him to conclude she had been about to ring the bell.

"Hi, Jack! Is he-" Lisa's honeyed voice said, she was standing there quite calm bundled up in a pink winter coat.

"Lisa! If you'd please step away, I need to go." He told her, it was the truth but he didn't want Ianto to hear her. He wanted to protect him and give him some space, if only for today.

"I need to talk to Ianto, is he here?" She declared in her own apologetic way. Her cheeky smile scared the shit out of him. Horror-stricken he tried to close the door behind him.

"He isn't, now may I go?" He was sure that she thought he was irritated at her, but at least he had a reason.

"Lisa?" A voice from behind him mumbled. It was very soft and when he saw Ianto’s face it seemed like he was looking at a dead man. His eyes were empty of any emotion and his face stony.

" Ianto? " He asked and looked the man in the eye. He nodded, so Jack stepped aside.

"You sure you're okay with this Ianto?" He asked on second thought. If something went wrong he wouldn't be there to stop it. He really didn't care about his apartment, he could care less about it, but he did care about Ianto.

"I'll be okay. I'll see you later okay?" And with that, he left his house in doubt. He wanted to stay, but he really had to go. Hopefully, everything will be alright.

\--0O0--

As Ianto listened to her one-sided conversation he clenched his fists to reign in his anger. He hadn't wanted to hear those details. Didn't want to know about a lot of those things. The only things that had mattered to him were the when and why, but she didn't tell him that. No, the things that mattered never left her mouth of her own free will. He always had to force the truth out of her, which had led to more than one fight during the time they'd been together. His heart and mind still loved her to bits - even though he knew he shouldn't - but sometimes she could be such a witch. Maybe it was better if they didn’t date, their relationship was far better when they were still friends.

"So there was actually a reason why I needed to talk to you Ianto." Her eyes turned a dangerous kind of sweet. Before yesterday he would've thought nothing about it, but now that he knew she was the person he'd never believed her to be, he sought something behind everything she said, everything she did.

" Okay, so what was it? The quicker you've told me, the sooner you can get out of here." He told her quite vehemently. He hadn't done that on purpose, but his voice had shown his real emotions and he couldn't suppress it.

"Okay, okay, no reason to get mad. Alright, so you know how we've been trying for a while now? I… I found out last week that I'm pregnant. For real this time. I waited to tell you until after I saw the doctor. I didn't want to get your hopes up again." His eyes turned into big eager pools as he watched the woman he once knew in front of him. He'd wanted this for such a long time, a baby of his own. A child to care for. But that had all disappeared from his mind the moment he found her entangled with another man. Speechless he tried to find the right words to ask. 

"How long?" He asked eventually. He had to rule something out for himself, after that he could get angry or let out a sigh of relief.

" Two and a half months. Isn't that fantastic Ianto? If I can carry it out this time we'd be proud parents in approximately six months." When the words had left her mouth shock took over his system. It couldn't be… there was no way in hell…

" I haven't touched you in months, Lisa." He said with the patience of a monk. She had to know, didn't she? For a moment he'd hoped that it would be true, but of course, the universe had to come out and play a trick on him again.

"Ianto, what are you talking about?" She seemed brilliant at faking her surprise. 

" You know what's going on Lisa, we haven't had sex in months. You were always too busy with the wedding preparations or exhausted, a headache or whatever else you were faking." He snapped at her. This was getting too far. A fake pregnancy was one step too far for him. He would have dealt with the cheating if it had been a slipper. But a repeated one throughout the years and adding to that a baby which wasn't his was just getting out of hand.

" Ian-"

" No Lisa! I want you out of here when I open my eyes, I can't do this right now." His head was spinning as his thoughts were just confusing the hell out of him.

"But what about the wedding?" She tried to reason, but this time he wasn't going to fall for it.

" It's cancelled. You shouldn't have done what you did if you wanted the fairytale wedding you always dreamt about. Now please go!" He warned, his eyes were closed as he pinched the bridge of his nose to keep himself in control. Please let her be gone. Eventually, he heard soft footsteps walking across the room and smashed the door with a bang. Relieved he let out a sigh that he hadn't let his temper flare. But at the same time everything hurt, it was final now. He'd called the shots. There was no going back from it, he wouldn't have been able to live with himself if he went on with everything and not acknowledge anything that had happened. Something in the past had broken them apart. Had split them up and damaged something valuable. The worst thing was that he had no idea what that was. As far as he'd believed two days ago they would be married in a few days time and be a happy couple. Nothing could be further from the truth.


	4. Sleeping Arrangements

Hours later and still Jack hadn't heard a word of Ianto. Maybe that was a good sign, but he couldn't help but think something bad had happened. It was simply in his nature. Ever since that witch had cursed him, he was always wary about such situations. His eyes searched for anything out of the ordinary when he stepped out of the car. Frantically he began to search for his keys. It took him a while to get the key into the keyhole right, but eventually, he turned the lock and opened the door. The silence surprised him, there was only a slight humming hearable throughout the house as he walked inside. Confused he walked further and took off his boots and coat. Clumsily he hung up his coat on the hook and made his way into the living room. It was all so…. pristine.

Like no one had ever lived here at all. His dirty shirts and socks - which had been lying on a chair in the corner - were gone. The dishes in the kitchen were washed and the magazine’s who’d been lying across the table were now put on one pile under the table.

‘’Ianto?’’ He screamed. Where was he? 

‘’Ianto? Ianto?’’ He yelled throughout the house. He had to be somewhere. 

Quickly he went towards the bedroom as he imagined that to be the most logical room for the young man to be, but when he was met with an empty and cleaned bedroom his alarm bells started to ring inside his mind.

"Ianto, are you here?" He opened one door after another but neither gave him the satisfaction of Ianto Jones. His wobbly voice betrayed the true feeling going on inside him. Desperately he went to the only other room left, the bathroom. As quick as his feet could take him he ran towards the bathroom and yanked open the door. There inside on his hands and knees was Ianto Jones humming to something only existing in his brain.

"Ianto?" He asked this time, less frantic now that he'd finally found him. He let out a sigh of relief at having found the troubled man. Ianto - shocked - turned his head around and smiled at him.

"Jack, hi! How are you?" He was definitely drunk or at least on the brink of being tipsy. Ianto sat down on his bum and intriguingly watched him while he stood there trying to control his fear.

"Ianto? What have you done?" The bathroom looked just as clean as the rest of his apartment and the sponge in the Welshman's hand left him with no other conclusion than that Ianto had been stress cleaning, once again. Slowly and wobbly Ianto tried to stand up, he almost fell - and he would've if he hadn't sprinted forwards to catch him - but stood as straight as an asparagus while he leaned against the shower door. His cheeky smile caught him off guard as he watched him slowly take off his yellow rubber gloves.

"What?" It took him a few seconds to control his raging hormones, he had to avert his eyes from those delicate hands in order from things not to escalate on the spot. He swallowed once, twice, thrice, before his dry throat would finally let him pass the saliva normally and Ianto must've heard how he'd loudly swallowed a few times while he'd been eyeing him dreamily.

They were just friends, as long as he kept telling himself that, one day he might actually start believing it.

"You know you didn't have to do that!" He exclaimed unsure about himself and with mixed up feelings.

"I just wanted to be helpful, you know. I couldn't just sit here while the house is a mess." It felt completely logical from Ianto's side, he was a complete neat freak after all. 

"So you just decided to clean… everything? Don't get me wrong, I love that you've taken a big job out of my hands, but really, it's not your task to do so." 

" I know, I know, it's just after Lisa left I had to do… something, I had to keep my mind distracted." He reasoned with himself. There was something sweet about it, he couldn't really explain it, but it felt good that Ianto had decided to not go down the rabbit hole of his mind when he was left alone - as he'd somehow expected. Carefully he took a few steps towards the broken man and took him in his arms. 

"Come on, let's get you cleaned and out of here." He whispered huskily into the young man's ear. It might've been wrong of him to do so, but for once he had no control over his voice. As he retreated his head from Ianto's - he'd expected that the young man would slap him at the least, but no such thing happened - as he grasped his upper arm and guided him out of the bathroom. If Ianto would ever ask about it he would explain as best as he could without ruining everything he had, but for now, it would be as it was and Ianto had probably drunk too much already to remember anyways.

\--0O0--

It was hours later when he'd finally sobered Ianto up properly that the next problem arose. The sleeping arrangements. He had only one - double - bed, but that still felt awkward.

"Ianto, be reasonable, you know as well as I do that, that couch is no good for your back and long legs neither is that chair or even the floor." He exclaimed from next to the bed. Ianto was being very stubborn in denying sleeping with him in the same bed. It was big enough to put a fort of pillows in between them so they wouldn't even have to see one another during the sleep they both needed so much, one night without could be dealt with, but two nights was out of the question. Whatever he tried, Ianto kept standing in the doorway - completely dressed - and staying headstrong about his decision.

"You know sometimes you can be a real pain in the arse." He muttered under his breath as he poofed down on the bed and rolled to his favourite side. From the corner of his eye, he could see Ianto glancing at the bed longingly. There was nothing stopping him. Warily he walked forwards towards the bed and sat down on the empty side. Smiling Jack celebrated a private party inside his brain as he'd finally got Ianto so far to sleep in the same bed - on terms of course. Without actually seeing he could feel the bed dip, a smile transformed his face, he knew it was wrong, if he couldn't control his feeling then everything was gone and if he gave the witch her way then Ianto would be dead within no time. The curse was really getting to him these days, with every coming day it was getting harder to live with it, but what choice did he have? He was immortal, so even if he committed suicide he would just resurrect.

"Common, I'm not that bad." He told Ianto reassuringly. Before he could even blink the Welshman was lying on his back, still completely clothed, with drooping eyes. Courageous he turned on his side and leaned on his forearms, his head only a few centimetres away from his mates face. 

"You know, you would be more comfortable in something less… tight." He whispered into the quiet night air. Alarmed Ianto's upper body rose up, his angelic appearance did nothing to mask the panic he must've been feeling right now at being rudely awoken. He'd seemed so close to fade away into dreamland, but in the end, he would be glad about the interruption.

"Yeah, uhm…" frantically Ianto began to search around him - probably for his suitcase - and sat up straight. His cheeks began to blush as he finally found the object he'd been trying to find.

"You know where the bathroom is if you don't want me to see." He simply said and closed his eyes. Fatigue was catching up with him as his eyelids began to slowly close. The stressful day had been enough to make him fall asleep on his feet, let alone on his soft mattress under his soft sheets. Swiftly after he'd closed his eyes to rest them for a bit while he waited for his friend he felt the bed dip again. Sluggishly he opened them again and saw Ianto sitting against the headboard hugging his knees, his eyes alert and his body tense.

" It's only me, relax." His hand went towards the Welshman's knee where it met cloth. Anxious blue eyes met his own blue eyes, so he made a plan.

"Okay, as promised, let's get those pillows situated." He proclaimed as he sat up with renewed energy and went towards the closet where he left his spare pillow and where he put the decorative pillows when the bed wasn't made. Out he got at least 5 pillows, enough to satisfy him he hoped. He placed them neatly in between their bodies - under the blanket - and lay down again when everything seemed fine. Ianto's face seemed far more relaxed when the pillows separated their bodies from each other. Only thing was, it left them with a little less of the blanket. The smile on Ianto's face he was rewarded with was enough to decide it was worth it.

" Now, time to dream!" He declared as he switched off the bed sidelight. The darkness was all surrounding, but he could just see Ianto's sleepy face before he finally closed his eyes for today.

It was around 4 am when he woke up once again, cold and shivery. The blanket had gone, out of habit he reached for the footboard where his blanket would normally lie twisted in between his legs. But not today, this time he found out that a particular young man was hogging the bedcover and wasn't going to let him have one bit more. Sleepily he walked through the dark room towards the closet and took out the spare blanket. He wrapped himself in it and collapsed on the bed again, asleep before he knew it.

\--0O0--

The pillows stayed, just as the extra blanket. One conversation with his friend had given him all the answers he'd needed to know that it was better for them to keep separate blankets. It was a few days later and many more embarrassing situations later that Jack found himself sitting on his bed, on his half of course. His white sleeping shirt on and legs bare. Glasses on and a book placed firmly on his lap with his knees faced skywards. The bathroom lamp was weirdly enough still on as Ianto hadn't yet retreated from the bathroom, even though he'd fled away about 45 minutes ago.

" You okay in there?" He shouted from his place, Ianto had been acting rather peculiar all day long and he couldn't help but think something was wrong. It might've been that today was the day. But he couldn't be too sure. When they'd woken up after their first night 'together' he'd pressured the young man into calling his relatives and telling them the news. As expected things hadn't gone that well, but at least it had been dealt with. Then came maybe the worst call, so he'd swapped places with him and called the wedding planner. They weren't too pleased that he called off all of their wedding reservations last minute but reassured him that no additional costs would be charged. It had been expected that they would still bill him with the booking costs, which Ianto decided he would pay. Even though Lisa and her cheating had been the reason for the breakup, he still didn't want to fax the bill towards her as Jack had asked him to do. No, he was simply too good for that. Ianto was too good for this world.

" Yup, I'll be just a second," Ianto yelled back from behind the closed door. Outside the wind blew hard and leaves flew through the air. Rain clattered against the window when the door creaked and gradually opened. The almost dark room was flooded with light as the door stood askew. He looked up and saw Ianto’s shape creeping into the room. At first, he didn’t notice anything else as he walked towards the bed, he was still clothed in his PJ’s after all, but as soon as he faced the younger man he knew what was going on.

‘’I know, I know, I look ridiculous!’’ Ianto insisted on his spot beside the bed. A set of glasses were edged firmly on his nose and matched his own pair of glasses currently resting on his nose.

‘’No, No… you look… amazing! Really.’’ A blush spread across his face while he tried to find the right words to say. There was something… Sexy about those glasses. Something that only enhanced his attractiveness to him. To others, it may have seemed lame or dorky, but he had to bite his lip in order for him to control himself.

‘’I forgot to take my lenses, I need to get new ones every month. So I’ve got to wear those until I find the time to buy new ones.’’ Awkwardly he lowered himself a bit and adjusted his stance to hide the growing bulge in his boxers. His face flushed and suddenly his ability to swallow became critical. He was lucky that he had his book to cover the delicate area around his crotch. His gulp became quite noticeable as Ianto turned around and watched him.

‘’Are you alright?’’ He asked politely before he lied down himself. He nodded not daring to speak.

‘’Why don’t you keep those glasses? They look good, really.’’ He eventually exclaimed when Ianto had lain down.

‘’I don’t know. We’ll see.’’


	5. Things change

Life with Ianto seemed far more difficult than he’d expected on first sight. The grieving man was always there when he'd least expected it. Of course like a true friend, he'd always help him through heavy times, but his traitorous heart made it all the more difficult for him. Many times had he dreamed about snogging the young man or making slow and passionate love to him. His repressed feelings made it harder for him to act normal around the Welshman, but he did what he could. Naturally, it didn't really help that they were still sleeping in the same bed at night. And then there had been the shower accident, which didn't help him one bit at trying to hide his feelings. He had no idea how it happened, or even why he hadn't heard it. But he'd walked in on a fully naked, freshly showered and covered in water droplets Ianto. He'd stood still out of shock, not knowing how to move or even to say something. For a moment Ianto was responding in the same way before the young man quickly wrapped the towel he'd been holding around in his hands around his midriff and fled out of the bathroom. The worst bit of it all might've been that in the brief time he looked at him he could see Ianto's boner and felt himself turn hard too. It had been heaven that they'd both had to be at work soon after and so only talked about it when both their minds had calmed down. The result though had been a raging hard-on for quite some while. But luckily they talked it out and made the promise to knock on the bathroom door when someone else was present to prevent these kinds of things from ever happening again.

"What am I going to do?" Ianto asked one particular bright morning four months later. Lisa had tried to woo her way back into his life many times already and to him, it seemed like Ianto was beginning to look depressed whenever he started talking about his love life, but somewhere carefully hidden away, he could see a spark of affection in his eyes which could only mean that he'd met someone else who he liked very much. Love did stupid things to you. But lately, something odd seemed to happen to his friend, nothing he could really describe, but ever since they’d woken up one morning - about three months ago - and they’d noticed that Ianto was spooned against him something had changed in their friendship.

"What do you mean?" He replied carefully, he lowered the paper he had been reading and quickly shoved his glasses further up his nose. He'd convinced the young man to wear them more. 

Ianto’s glasses where on the verge of falling off his nose as he had his hands in between the object and his eyes. They covered his eyes in a desperate attempt to close himself off from the world around him. His elbows on his knees and his legs spread wide.

"I mean with Lisa, with my life. With everything!" He declared frantically as he threw his hands away from his face. He put his paper aside and watched Ianto clearly having a breakdown. Quickly he made his way out of the comfy chair and towards the couch, Ianto was currently occupying. His feet almost slipped during the quick process, but he managed to catch himself just in time before he would fall on the ground and hit the edge of the table. Only thing was, in order for him not to die on the spot and start freaking Ianto out, even more, he'd changed his direction which resulted in him falling on top of the Welshman on the couch. Their eyes met for a brief moment, his breath caught in his throat as he gawked at the angelic face below him. It took a while before Ianto's eyes finally registered the shock he'd expected far sooner.

Overwhelmed, Ianto started to push him off of him. Jack didn't respond and just laid there as he quickly stood up and stared at one of his best friends. Jack had come to mean so much to him ever since they met, but his racing heart didn't want to stop while he tried to even out his breath. He was on the verge of hyperventilation when he panicked and ran out of the house, away from Jack, away from his mixed-up feelings, away from his troubles.

The Mermaid Quay wasn't the quietest place to think, but it was one of the places where he would go during his childhood when things became too much to bear and he just had to go away. It reminded him of home, of how he knew his mam loved him. How his sister had made a promise to protect him but left him all the same when she went to live together with her boyfriend. It reminded him of the simple things in life. The Mermaid Quay made way to a path which led towards a beautiful open field. Green grass was all around him when he finally reached it. It was unbelievably hot for Wales so for once it didn't matter that he left the house without a coat. He knew his phone was still lying in the bedroom, being charged, and his wallet luckily in his back pocket. He'd had the decency to quickly throw on some shoes before he'd slammed the door behind him. What had happened? Why did he have to feel this? Why did his heart feel the need to betray him while he still felt exceptionally strong about how things had been between him and Lisa - before he knew her secret of course. Jack had been… Jack, naturally. But the way his heart beat out of his chest when he came too close, scared the living hell out of him. No one had ever made him feel like that, Lisa hadn't, nor had his past girlfriends made him feel like everything would be marvellous and nothing could go wrong. Now he found someone that made him feel exceptionally, but he couldn't face the truth about it ever happening. He knew Jack was single, he hadn't even hooked up with anybody during the time they'd been friends, but he couldn't just assume Jack would want this. He didn't even know for sure that he wanted this himself. Yes, he'd been attracted to men in his youth, if he was honest with himself. But never had he imagined being in an actual relationship with one. But even if he accepted the fact that yes, he liked men just as much as he liked women, would that even mean Jack would. He let out a deep sigh as he lowered himself onto the damp grass just as a rabbit decided the hop past him. He smiled at the animal who had no idea how complicated his life could actually be. There had been a time when everything had seemed pretty simple, wake up, go to work, eat, pay attention to girlfriend, go home, eat, sleep. Of course, there would've been days when the usual things would differ, but even then it seemed pretty simple. Now his whole life turned into a mess just because he'd found his ex fucking with some dude in their bed. 

"I just want to kiss him." He whispered to himself as no one else was around him to hear, maybe the rabbit would notice him talking but it wasn't like he or she would understand what he was saying. Maybe if he kissed Jack he would get it out of his system and he could go on living like he'd done before feelings on his side started to develop. But then, of course, there was the off chance that Jack wanted nothing to do with him anymore and wanted him out of the house immediately. Then there also was the chance - he didn't dare hope it - that Jack actually liked him and something would spark from then on. When had his life become this difficult?

\--0O0--

When Ianto came home that day - to a frantic Jack, who immediately begged him where he went - he'd made up his mind about his situation. Armed with a camping bed he'd stood in front of the door and rang the bell. If he'd actually remembered to take his keys then he wouldn't have to do this. When Jack opened the door he immediately flung himself around his neck. After a few minutes, he'd succeeded in getting them both inside where the prying eyes of their neighbours disappeared.

"What's this?" Jack asked him after he'd finally reassured him that he'd been safe the whole time and nothing was wrong with him.

"It's a camping bed, as you can see." He answered.

"But why is it here?" Jack replied only seconds later. His eyes were full of confusion as he stared at the folded iron bed in a green bag where he'd put it against the wall.

"Because I'm going to sleep on it." He declared. Jack looked up, shocked, and seemed like a loss for words.

" But why? Things are going good right? We're sharing a bed, why would you need this contraption?" He started to fidget with his thumbs while he waited for Jack to finish. He'd rehearsed his speech quite a few times already when he'd been on his way home. Since when did he think of Jack's place as home? Doesn't matter.

" It's a bit crowded, don't you think? I know I've said I'd stay until I've found somewhere else, and that's what I promise, I need to get my own place. Start acting like an adult again, if I ever did that in the first place." Disappointed Jack turned around. He could still hear a silent "Oh." Coming from his mouth as he walked away and locked himself into the bathroom. Defeated he'd watched Jack walk away from him. He'd known this day would come, but did he really want it?

\--0O0--

It had been the beginning of the end. Ever since Ianto had come back with that damned bed three weeks ago - which he placed every night in the living room - they'd become more distant from one another. His heart and mind, his every fibre, still longed for the younger man with everything he did, but deep down he'd accepted that it would never happen. Ianto would move on and forget him. Like he should.

Mornings were spent together in awkward silence, neither one saying a word. More than once he'd stared longingly at him while he was eating his toast, reading the paper or doing anything else. He only hurt himself more by keeping faith in the things that would never be. His hands shook when he stood up, he'd been feeling rather sickly ever since he'd woken up. Even though he stood firmly on his feet, he took his plate with only a half-eaten sandwich and a cold, untouched cup of coffee in his hands and made his way towards the kitchen counter. The only thing he hadn't counted on was for his knees to give out and end up flat on his face on the cold floor. 

"JACK!" He heard Ianto scream from somewhere above him. Some sort of liquid was slowly spreading across the floor and towards his face. His head hurt as he felt cold hands grip his arms and he could still hear the ringing of the porcelain crashing down on the ground and breaking into a thousand tiny pieces.

"Jack! Are you alright? Jack talk to me!" Ianto's voice drifted towards him. It felt so surreal. His mind made him think that he was in a completely different world than Ianto was in.

And then everything went black.

When he woke up again it was somewhere completely else than where he’d been before he’d lost his consciousness. He’d had his eyes still closed, but he could hear Ianto’s distressed voice talking to someone.

‘’Judie, yes, hi, I know, I’m not going to make it today. Yes I know I should’ve called earlier, but something just happened to my housemate. I need to make sure he’s okay first. Yes, but I don’t think he has any family left. Of course, that’s awful, but I’ll try to be there tomorrow. Yeah, thanks I’ll tell him.’’ He could only hear what Ianto was saying but he could figure out what was said on the other end of the line. His head was throbbing and his stomach felt queasy, sweat was covering his forehead and a shiver ran through his body. He couldn’t remember when it had been the last time since he’d been sick. The only thing he’d remembered was back in his original timeline when his daughter came down with something and infected them all.

‘’Ianto?’’ he crooked when he opened his eyes. Alarmed, the young man turned around on his spot, his face pale and panic-stricken when his long legs made it to him in no time.

‘’Jack, how’re you feeling?’’ He didn’t know what to think, one moment they were ignoring one another and now it seemed like nothing happened.

‘’Shit Jack, you’re burning!’’ He spat out after he’d placed his hand on top of his head. 

‘’Am I? How late is it? Has Milly already gone to school?’’ He quickly asked. He couldn't remember hearing her soft footfalls through the house.

‘’Who’s Milly?’’ Ianto asked him, confused. His brow raised towards his hairline. He could hear the song of the wind and the sea, so calming, so beautiful. The only thing he wanted was to cover his feet in the sand and see his husband play with their Milly. 

‘’My daughter, haven’t you met her? She must be around here somewhere.’’ He said and tried to raise himself up, but was pushed back down by Ianto’s hand. 

‘’Don’t you dare get up, I’ve gone through enough trouble dragging you up here.’’ He told him darkly. What was going on? He was fine, wasn’t he? Bit queasy but that was all.

‘’I’m fine, let me go.’’

‘’No, Jack! You’re far from fine, you collapsed! You’re burning and clearly hallucinating.’’ Ianto argued.

‘’Just let me go.’’


	6. Sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of abuse!

It had been a hard time trying to contain Jack - while he clearly thought everything was fine - until the doctor came. Nothing much was wrong eventually, just the flu, with a very high fever. 

‘’He’s suffering from a mild delirium because of the fever, try and lower his fever and make sure he eats and drinks something during the day. Not too much of course. ‘’ The doctor said to him, they’d moved towards the living room as Jack had fallen asleep as soon as the doctor finished his medical exam. His peaceful snoring could still be heard from behind the closed door.

‘’What about the daughter thing?’’

‘’Well, maybe just encourage him to talk about her. The best thing right now is to make him feel comfortable and make him better.’’ With a final goodbye, he let the doctor out. He really couldn’t let Jack alone when he was this ill, and no way in hell could they go out together. But maybe the worst was, they needed groceries, like right now. They’d just eaten the last of their food. He walked towards the bedroom door and sneaked a peek inside. He was still sound asleep. From his hind side pocket, he produced his mobile and dialled the number he was so familiar with.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ She said as soon as she picked up.

‘’Why must something immediately be wrong when I call you?’’ He replied, deeply offended.

‘’Because it always is. Now spill.’’

‘’Can I ask you a favour? My friend is seriously ill and the doc says I can’t leave him alone, Could you get some groceries for us? please I’ll pay you back double.’’ He was desperate, right now, and the only one he knew who would do him this favour was his dear big sister. His mates wouldn’t have the time and his ex was not such a good idea, even though they came to an understanding, friendship was out of the question for now. Not since her betrayal. He tried to help her as best as he could since he heard that the baby daddy had abandoned her for getting pregnant, he wasn't so cruel that he would let his ex-fiance go through the most difficult part of her life on her own.

But every time he saw her he just couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal, of being cheated on. This could've been their future, married, a kid on the way. He would've had it all. But it wasn't 

to be meant.

‘’So why can’t you just let him sleep and go to the shops?’’ she asked him rather intrigued. Over the time they’d been friends Rhiannon had only met Jack once sporadically, and she couldn’t help wanting to know everything about the mysterious man in his life. She knew that when he was just a kid he’d asked his parents why the church declared it was so wrong for men to love one another. He could still remember how he’d accidentally let it be known that he found a boy in his year rather attractive. The beating he got afterwards left him with both mental and physical scars he would never forget. So he swore to never be attracted to a boy again, with no such luck. But at least his parents hadn’t known that. He liked both men and women, but he hid that part of his life pretty well.

‘’He’s entered the stage of delirium or so the doctor says. I can’t leave him alone, he might just burn down the house in a worst-case scenario.’’ His confession hurt him more than he would care to admit. It hurt to see a loved one ill, even though he would never say that aloud he did feel something akin to love for his friend.

‘’What? Is he alright?’’

‘’It’s nothing too serious. But I just can’t…’’

‘’It’s alright. Wait a second let me get a pen and some paper.’’ He heard some rummaging on the background and a shout of ‘’Ahah!’’ Before she came back on the phone and started talking again.

‘’Okay, what do you need?’’ Slowly he walked towards the kitchen and found the grocery list stuck against the refrigerator, held up by a threatening red welsh dragon magnet.

‘’He situated the phone between his ear and his shoulder when he lifted up the magnet and slid the piece of paper out underneath it. He began to read everything on the list out loud, with some time in between every product so she could write it all down without having to hurry.

‘’Oh, and do you have ibuprofen?’’ Rhiannon added on second thought. Quickly he went to the bathroom where he knew to find the cupboard full of medication. Opening it up he couldn’t find whatever she asked.

‘’No, why?’’

‘’Well if he has a delirium then he probably has a fever, you need to bring that down.’’ While he was secretly freaking out he could count on his big sister to keep her head cool and practically tell him what to do. What would he do without her?

‘’Alright, what else?’’

‘’I’ll get some light food, oh and if you can get him into a cold bath. Maybe a sponge bath if you can’t get him in a bath. Maybe make some ice cubes. The important thing is to get his fever down right now.’’ While she went to the shop, he went to make some ice cubes and watched Jack sleeping. 

It was about an hour later - during it, Jack had been experiencing a fitful sleep and on multiple occasions screamed muffled names and seemed to be scared of something in his dreams before he once again became quiet - that Rhiannon came to the house with quite a few shopping bags in her car. He'd texted her the address as he'd actually never done that. When he'd accepted Jack's offer he never imagined he'd stay here for longer than a few weeks, but weeks turned into months and still he hadn't found a suitable and payable place to live in. It seemed that Cardiff didn't have that many affordable places, and his job as a nurse at the hospital in Cardiff didn't pay quite enough for the hours that he put in.

" It's everything you need and more." She declared after they brought all the bags inside. Her car was parked in front of the house, but no one would mind if it stayed there for a little bit longer.

"So have you tried the bath?" She asked him questionably. Her eyebrows rose up into her hairline as he shook a firm no. He didn't yet have the guts to wake Jack up and get him to undress for him.

"Why not?"

" It's just… a bit difficult. I'm going to try the sponge bad in a bit." She watched him intriguingly for a while, he held his breath while her eyes searched for something he didn't want to tell. Eventually, she stopped and he let out a prolonged sigh.

"You know I can handle it. If this has anything to do with what Tad did, just say so. You know I can help." Once again he firmly shook his head, this had nothing to do with their Tad and his constant abuse, not really.

"It's different. I can't tell you, first I have to figure it out myself. After that happens, I'll tell you. But until then I just ask you to trust me." She took one step closer and engulfed him in her arms. Her hug was something he'd desperately needed. He closed his arms around her body and let his head fall on her shoulder, just like they'd done when they were younger and she tried to comfort him after his beating.

"If there's anything you want to know, it doesn't matter what or when just ring me and I'll try to help. I've been through this before with David, remember." He did remember that very vividly, David had been so young when he'd gotten ill and had to be hospitalised because of his far too high fever. It had been like a horror movie. They'd been so close to losing their little boy.

"Thank you." He whispered and gave her a kiss on the cheek. As promised he'd paid her double for help and support. At first, she refused it, but he knew she could use it with two young children and too little income. 

"You're too good for this world, Ianto Jones." She exclaimed just before she sat down in her car and drove off. He waved her goodbye and stood outside into the unusual sunny Welsh sun. After a few seconds, he wandered back inside and locked the door behind him. He'd already packed away all the groceries with his sister, so he went to check on Jack. Quietly he wandered towards the bedroom door and opened it up with a creak, he had to do something about that soon and watched a wide awake Jack staring at him.

" How are you feeling?" He asked carefully, he had no idea how Jack would react to it all.

"Not so good." A silent groan escaped his lips as he spoke and the sweat on his pale forehead told more than enough about his current state.

"Wait a sec." He said more to himself than to Jack. He left the room and took a tall glass out of the kitchen cabinet and filled it to the brim with cold water. He snatched the packet with ibuprofen from the table and walked with both of them into the room. For a moment he placed the glass on Jack's bedside table and opened up the packet to get one pill out.

"Open up." He told the man in front of him, who refused.

"What is it?" His broken voice made him almost sound like an innocent child who was sick and wanted his mam.

" It's ibuprofen, to make you better." He promised. Jack obediently opened his mouth for Ianto to lay the pill in. He brought the glass towards his mouth and supported his head forwards so he could swallow a good mouthful of water. When Jack finished the whole glass he walked back towards the kitchen and filled it up again. He would need to be kept hydrated throughout it all.

"Do you think you could take a bath?" He walked further into the room and closed the door behind him, even though nobody else would be able to enter. He sat down on his side of the bed and watched as Jack followed his eyes with every move he took. He placed the glass on Jack's bedside table.

"Honestly, I don't think I can stand on my feet." He admitted sheepishly, he didn't think it was possible but a slight blush spread across Jack's cheeks. If it was fever-induced or just shame, he would never know.

" Okay, stay here." He stood up and walked towards the bathroom. He'd taken a soup bowl with him on the way and filled it with ice-cold water. Out of one of the cabinets, he took a washcloth and took those items with him back towards the bedroom. Jack was still awake and was following his every move as he walked back in and set the bowl down on his bedside table. He sat down on Jack's half of the bed next to his legs and stared into his friend's eyes. Slowly he dipped the washcloth into the water, wrung it out a little and then brought it towards Jack's forehead. His breath stopped in his throat as he waited with bated breath for someone to say… something. As he stared into Jack's eyes he could see little brown spots in his crystal blue eyes. He brought the washcloth back to him again and dipped it in the water, wringing it, this time he brought it towards Jack's neck, where he left a wet trail. There was something so arousing about this, he just couldn't help it. He repeated the same process many times more, but never did he fail to find something new on Jack's face. Here and there, there were a few tiny scars. Eventually, he dipped the washcloth once again into the cold water and lay it on Jack's forehead. His wet hair lay flat against it, so with his other hand, he moved it upwards so the washcloth could take all the space it needed.

"Why are you doing this?" Jack whispered when he'd almost finished. His beautiful eyes were so mesmerising.

"Hmmm, what did you say?" He asked shyly when he noticed Jack had said something, but he had no idea what.

"Why are you doing this? You know… taking care of me." His puppy dog eyes stared into his soul while he tried to find the right answer. 

" Why wouldn't I?"

" I don't know. You were so distant lately. I thought you… hated me." Jack looked away, his eyes were staring towards the window where the sun was shining inside and the birds were chirping.

"How could I ever hate you?"

"It's rather easy actually. You wouldn't be the first you know." He whispered, his eyes were still facing the window, so his hand - involuntarily - grabbed his chin and turned his face towards him so he could see him. Their eyes met for a second and he could see so much grief in his friend’s eyes.

"I don't know what happened to you in the past Jack, but just know that I could never hate you." I love you too much for that he added secretly in his mind. Even though he still denied the love part, he couldn't deny that he felt something more than just friendship for him, and it freaked him out if he was honest.

"Pinkie swear?" A laugh escaped his lips at how serious Jack was looking.

"Sure, pinkie swear." They held up their pinks and entangled them, just like kids did to ensure something would stay a secret or that they really meant something.

" Can I get you anything? Water? Some food? Painkiller?" He asked not sure what to do now. Desperately he looked anywhere expected at Jack.

"Could you just… never mind."

" No what is it?" He said and watched how it was now Jack's turn to deject his look.

" Could you just lie with me? Just for a little while?" Jack's eyes met his and he could see how vulnerable the older man looked all of a sudden.

"Sure." He made sure the washcloth was still a bit chilly before he lay down next to Jack on the bed, but kept his body above the blanket because for once it was rather hot.

He looked Jack into the eye as they both lay on their side facing one another. Jack's hand crept on top of his hip just before he closed his eyes and fell asleep. Mesmerized, he watched the sleeping man in front of him and tried to calm down his frantically beating heart, it was just as if it was beating in his throat instead of his ribcage. Jack's death grip prevented him from moving out underneath his arm, so there was only one thing he could do. Wait it out. He stared at his friend while he wished for him to wake up soon. It took longer than expected because before he knew it his eyes were drooping and sleep was greeting him like an old friend.

When he woke up, It was to be greeted by a shyly smiling Jack and to find out that he had moved even closer towards him in his sleep, he was only an inch deleted from laying flush against him. Quickly he apologized himself and went towards the bathroom. He actually did need to pee, but it had also been part of an excuse.

"What am I doing?" He whispered to himself when he was sure no one else would be able to hear him.


	7. Taking care of....

I t hadn't taken as long as he'd thought, to break through Jack's fever. It was around a day and a half later when his temperature finally dropped below the - almost - dangerously high temperature and he could declare him almost fever-free. His forehead still felt rather clammy and his skin was really pale. But with each passing hour, things seemed to get a little better with his friend.

During the night he hadn't had many hours of sleep as Jack was constantly keeping him awake. His talk about his daughter - of which he wasn't too sure was real - didn't seem to have an end. He now knew more about the little girl than he would ever care to admit if Jack even remembered telling him it. So he was really relieved when the fever broke and the delirium lessened. 

Jack was peacefully sleeping when he decided a shower was in order. He hadn't showered or bathed ever since he had to take care of Jack. If he was honest, he smelled and his hair stuck up at places it shouldn't be. While he was under the shower he could hear footsteps walking inside the bathroom. One quick peek - by pulling the shower curtain aside - told him Jack had decided to join him there, his duvet was wrapped around his body while he sat in only a loose shirt and boxers on the lid of the toilet.

"Can I sit here?" He heard him carefully ask. Something had - yet again - changed in their relationship. Somehow without even knowing about it at first the barrier of ‘just friends’ had been broken and something else had come in Its place.

"Sure." He kept silent at first and from the corner of his eye he could see that Jack was frowning down at the tiles.

" Do you think I'm destroying your life?" Jack quietly asked. He could barely hear him above the dripping water, but he was sure of what he'd heard.

"Why do you think that?" He asked alarmed. Since when was Jack convinced he'd messed up his life?

" It's just… ever since you met me everything seems to go for the worse. You lost your fiance, the chance of becoming a father. You're stuck here with me and now you can't go out because you have to take care of me." 

"That's not exactly your fault, now is it?" He turned off the shower tap and reached behind the curtain for his towel. He couldn't quite reach it, but it was placed in his hands by a sheepishly looking Jack.

" Maybe, maybe not."

"Jack, you've clearly been spending too much time in your head. If I didn't want to be here then I would've been gone already." He dried himself off as quickly as he could and draped the towel around his hips. He'd forgotten to take any clean clothes with him. He could feel Jack's eyes burn on his naked skin, a few droplets were gliding down his torso when he opened the bathroom door and made his way out on bare feet. Jack followed his every step and joined him in the bedroom. The only difference being that he stood in front of his dresser while he collected some clothes and Jack sat on the bed, cuddled in some blankets, watching him.

"Could you maybe… turn around or just you know, close your eyes?" He asked, ashamed that he felt so uncomfortable to be naked around Jack. He was sure that even though Jack was currently sick, things would still be able to escalate if he stood stark naked in front of him. Jack closed his eyes and put his hands in front of his eyes.

Please don't take a peak. He thought to himself while he let the towel drop to the floor. Quickly he grabbed his boxers from the bed and put them on. With that out of the way, he suddenly felt a lot safer, knowing that Jack wouldn't be able to see his precious crown jewels.

"You can open them." He told him when he was almost fully clothed. It wasn't like he was going anywhere, so he just went with a shirt and some jogging pants. After he'd brought his dirty towel towards the laundry basket in the bathroom, he went back towards the bedroom and sat down on the bed. He drew his knees towards his chin and thought about what he was going to say.

"When it happened, I felt so alone, I thought you were the only one who would understand me. The only one who would help me get through it all and not try to force his opinion upon me. I needed someone who would let me make my own mistakes. Not someone who would try to bring me back together with her or make me do things I didn't want to. I went to you, Jack, because I needed you more than anything. I needed a friend." His mind was screaming at him that Jack had always been much more than just a friend. Somewhere deep down he’d already been attracted to him from the moment they met. There was no denying it. The silence was all surrounding, he had no idea what to say anymore and neither did Jack, obviously.

"Why did you leave? Why did you start sleeping on that wee camping bed?" Jack asked him rather sadly. He seemed very tired as his eyes were drooping.

" I don't know, I felt uncomfortable. My thoughts… they were all mixed up. My heart was betraying me and my head wanted nothing more than to stay with you. I just wanted to find things out for myself." When he looked up, he found out that Jack was sound asleep and had heard nothing of his confession. Maybe it was better that way. Quietly he crept towards the other side of the bed and laid him down better so his muscles wouldn't be all tied up.

His hand was stuck on Jack's face where he caressed the soft skin beneath it. His fingers pushed away the stray hairs that lay on his forehead. He was so angelic when he slept. So innocent. With his other hand he pulled up the blanket towards his chest while his eyes where fixed on his face, he was mesmerized by the sight in front of him.

His mouth opened and a yawn escaped his lips. Maybe a quick nap wasn't such a bad idea after all. He lay down above the cover and occupied the place he'd been laying on so many nights since he came here. His eyes closed and he could feel his thoughts becoming heavy. He didn't lie quite well, so he turned on his spot and lay facing Jack. He could feel an arm wrap around his hips and pull him closer, but he didn't care about it as he fell asleep.

\--0O0--

It was dark when something woke him up. A piercing sound woke him from his slumber, a few seconds later the ringing stopped only to start again. He opened his eyes sluggishly and peered into the room. Jack was still sound asleep and his arm was draped across him. Secretly he didn't want to leave the snug space Jack had created, but he knew he had to eventually. The mobile turned silent again and only a matter of seconds later began again. How Jack could sleep through that noise was a mystery to him. The ringing phone was far out of his reach so he left the bed and walked towards it, he answered it just in time before it could stop. Before he picked up the phone he registered that it was Jack's and not his. He should've known that as his own was resting on the bedside table. He pushed the green button and brought the phone towards his ear. The thing he heard made him cringe and move the phone a few inches away from his ear.

"JACK!" The woman screamed through her sobs. The name on the screen said Jackie, but he had no idea who that was.

"Jack! You need to help me, Rose's gone. I don't know where she is. They think that Mickey bloke might've killed her." He waited until she stopped talking to interrupt her.

"Miss?"

"You're not Jack!" She answered far more serious than he'd imagined she would, but what did he know? He didn't even know her.

"No, I'm Ianto. Jack's friend. He can't come to the phone right now, he's quite ill." He told the woman before she would start again. From behind him, he could hear Jack groan while he woke up. He spun around, ready to ask Jack if he would like to speak to this mystery woman when it happened.

"I think I'm going to vomit." He declared, not even a minute later he was leaning over the edge of the bed, puking out his guts into the bucket he'd luckily already placed there.

"I'm sorry miss, but I need to go, Jack's puking on the floor. I'll remind him to call you back once he's better." And with that, he dismissed the call, threw the phone back where it had been and made his way to Jack's side. He hadn't even been lying, Jack had really puked on the floor, half of it had gone next to the bucket and his clothes were stained with vomit. In a flash, he was at Jack's side and supported his body while he brought the bucket closer. When nothing came out anymore and he'd stopped dry heaving, he sat there ghostly pale and mortified. His eyes went to the stained pyjamas and made a decision.

"You, stay here. I'll be back." He said and emptied the bucket in the toilet. When he came back, he first started to clean up the floor - with a disgusted face - before he went to direct his attention to Jack. He took Jack in his arms and supported him while they walked together towards the bathroom. Like a little child, he put Jack on the closed toilet seat.

" Bath or shower?" He asked him thinking Jack knew very well what he was talking about.

"Let's just go with the shower," Jack whispered. So he turned on the shower and waited for the temperature to be perfect. Then he went to Jack and started prying off his shirt. There was not much on it but he'd still need to rinse it before he'd put it in the washer. Jack took off his underwear and carefully started walking towards the shower.

"Can you manage without me?" But his question was already answered as Jack stood swaying on his feet ready to fall down or step into the shower. Without even really thinking of it, he made his way towards Jack and helped him in. He didn't let him go and stepped with him inside, his clothes were soaked by the time he could pull them off, so he just kept them on.

"You're lucky I like you." He mumbled under his breath as he started to wash him. It wasn't like Jack had much of a chance to refuse. The once soft limb turned rock hard in front of his eyes while he washed Jack's chest. Somehow it seemed rather erotic, but he did nothing more than help his friend in need. Mostly, he didn't want to think about everything that went on down there and went further with washing Jack as soon and quick as he could. Not long after he helped a still naked Jack out and wrapped him into a towel. He threw off his own wet clothes in a hurry and did the same to himself. Together they went back to the bedroom where he provided both of them with clean clothes and put Jack back in bed. He would deal with the humiliation later. But not now.


	8. Finding out part of the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Self-harm, suicide and blood.

It should’ve been his first clue into discovering the truth. He hadn’t been sick since he became immortal, no illness could plague him. Which of course had been heaven. Then why hadn’t he figured out something was wrong with him the moment he became ill? He simply hadn’t thought about it. He was standing in the kitchen, his hand hovering - with an extremely sharp knife - above his wrist, his hand was trembling as he thought about what he was about to do. Ianto was out, to get some groceries after he finally promised that yes, he felt really okay and no, he really wasn’t lying… again. The knife hung just an inch above his artery when he’d made his final decision. He was doing it. Slowly he brought the knife to his skin. He could already see a lonely drop of blood sliding out of his newly created wound after he’d put down enough pressure to break the skin. Without thinking too much about it he sliced it open deeper. He could see all the blood dripping down and falling onto his white kitchen tiles. As quick as he could he removed the knife from his wrist and watched if he’d needed to call an ambulance because he slid his wrist. Normal, mortal, people would be bleeding to death right now. But not him. He did notice that something was off, normally he would’ve healed within a minute, but it had already been a quarter of an hour and his wound still hadn’t healed completely. The blood had stopped pouring out of his veins five minutes ago, and if he’d really been mortal then he’d probably already been dead by now. This was how Ianto found him, mere minutes later, staring at the gaping wound on his wrist.

‘’I've forgotten my wallet. So stupid.’’ He declared when he walked into the house with a laugh. He seemed to be in such a great mood. He heard him open the door towards the living room and walk inside. He saw him pick up his wallet, just before their eyes met. Shocked, Ianto stared at the knife, covered in blood, he was still holding in a death grip in his hand.

‘’JACK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?’’ Gone was the relaxed Ianto and in its place a frightened, but above all deathly afraid Ianto came running towards him in the kitchen. The pools of blood were all the proof he needed to confirm what he’d been doing. The first thing Ianto did was reach for his hand still holding the knife. He tried to pry open his fingers and when he finally succeeded a clatter could be heard as the knife fell to the ground. Immediately Ianto grasped for his cut open wrist and inspected the wound. It had healed, but not as much as he’d been used to. It was only a flesh wound, not that deep, but it would still need some stitches if he wasn’t going to tell Ianto the truth.

"It's nothing." He said and tried to cover the fresh wound with his now free hand, without any luck. Ianto batted away the hand before he could do anything.

"What are you talking about? Of course, this is something, Jack, you could've killed yourself!" Ianto's frantic mouth told him, but his majestic face told him that he'd been genuinely worried about him. His head felt light as his legs began to give out. They swayed from left to right before they really did give out, but Ianto was quick to catch up and caught him in his arms. His strong arms lowered him on the ground, where he placed his head between his knees.

"Stay here, take deep breaths," Ianto demanded of him. He kept his eyes strained towards the ground and took a deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth.

Before he knew it Ianto was back and pushing a big glass of water in his direction. He took the glass into his hand not knowing what to do with it, he stared at the young man in front of him.

"Drink, slowly." He did what he said and sluggishly drank the cold water.

"Are you nauseous?" He shook his head in a no, there was an empty feeling in there but not nauseous.

"Here you go then, eat it." He took the biscuit in his hand and slowly began to chew on it while he watched Ianto's worried face. Ianto sat on his heels, on eye level, and made sure that there was something in his stomach. Hopefully, he didn't puke it out like a few days ago. Ianto wrapped a cloth around his wrist and put pressure on the wound. It hurt a little and he could see blood seeping through the material.

"Why are you doing this, Jack?" He kept silent, what was he meant to say anyway? 

"Jack! This is serious! Where you about to kill yourself?" He bit his lip while he stared into those beautiful orbs.

"No," he mumbled under his breath. Jack’s eyes averted from him in shame even though he was speaking the truth.

"Jack, please tell me the truth, because I can't do this again. " His face looked torn up as he fell down on his bum. His hands covered his face and his knees were drawn up towards his face.

"What do you mean, again?" After a long silence, Ianto began to speak.

" I once had a friend, we were only 16 back then, he self-harmed. He cut himself because it made him feel better. Somehow there was this nagging thought inside his head in certain situations that told him that if he just cut himself things would get better. But they didn't, so he kept on doing it. I begged him to seek help, but he denied. Then one day, while I was in maths I was called out by the principal. He cut himself that morning for the final time. There'd been no one at home when he cut himself too deep and damaged an important artery. He bled to death on his bed. And I just kept thinking that if only I would've been there for him he would've still been alive." Tears had escaped Ianto's eyes as he told him his story. If Ianto hadn't come back, and his immortality powers hadn't kicked in, if even just a little, he would've ended up the same.

"So that's how you knew what to do." He inched a little closer towards the younger man, not too fast of course, and took him in his arms. He was crying his eyes out when Jack’s arms lunged around Ianto’s shoulders.

"Yeah, but I'm also a nurse, so…" he managed to tell him through the sobs. How could he forget, the nurse's costume made him look bewitchingly beautiful.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispered into the air. 

" Now please tell me, were you self harming?" Ianto asked him through hiccups, his watery eyes were looking up at him and staring into his soul.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." 

"Try me."

"Alright, I cut myself to see if I'm still immortal." He said, he held up his arm and unwrapped the blood-soaked cloth to show his wrist - on which was now a pink scar to be seen instead of a wound. Ianto's eyes turned big and his mouth stood agape.

"What, where, how?" Ianto grabbed his wrist with both hands and began to turn it around.

"As I said, I'm immortal, or I'm supposed to be, something funny is going on with my body." It was like talking to himself, Ianto was mesmerized by his arm while he tried to explain himself. Only he wasn't too sure Ianto actually heard what he had to say.

" This isn't normal, Jack…? What kind of trick are you playing on me." At first, he was kind of shocked, but then as his brain started to think of the most logical reason, anger seemed to consume him.

" I knew you wouldn't believe me." He told him with a sigh. There was nothing worse than someone telling you to your face that you were lying, while you were actually telling the truth. Sometimes people just heard what they wanted to hear and nothing more. Was it worth it to try again? Was it worth the chance of losing his best friend, his secret love? He had no idea how Ianto felt and one thing was sure, he couldn't - for the love of God - watch Ianto try to kill himself as the others had done. He would rather erase himself from Ianto's brain and watch from afar how he was doing. He could only do it if Ianto really did love him, but could he tell him part of the truth? 

" Don't bother, I know you're not going, to tell the truth, but I must tell you something before…" He let go of his wrist and stared him right in the eye.

"You're everything to me. But I can't keep doing this. I miss you, I miss our friendship, I miss the way we would just have fun without a care in the world. I miss it all, but my heart is threatening me. It became all the more clear to me while I was taking care of you. I marvel in your presence, Jack. I can't deny it, I'm feeling things for you I never thought I would feel again... And I know you're not feeling the same way, but I just needed to say that. I had to in order for me to move on. I'll leave by dawn. I-" Jack didn't say a word, his mouth stood agape as he watched Ianto talking. He was astonished about what he heard coming out of his mouth and when he finished or more like almost finished as he had to cut him off before he could say something stupid, he threw himself forwards and started snogging the hell out of him. He registered shock in Ianto at first, but soon he was cooperating in a heated make-out session. It was all tongue and teeth, but for a first kiss, it wasn't bad, not bad at all. Ianto's tongue had invaded his mouth pretty soon after he'd recovered from his shock and all he wanted was to stay like that forever. But the air was needed - for both of them - to stay alive, so sooner than he wanted to they separated for some much-needed air. Their irregular breaths kept them from talking as they tried to catch their breath. But one thing was sure, they both wanted what could be happening shortly after.

"Are you… are you for real?" Was the first thing Jack asked when his lungs contained enough air to breathe normally again.

Ianto, who was still out of breath, nodded a yes. His eyes shone with a new sparkle of life, something he hadn't seen before. A smile crept upon his face as his hand searched Ianto's, he intertwined them while they still sat upon the blood-stained tiles, but that didn't bother them one bit.

"I love you, for so long already.’’ A laugh escaped his mouth as he finally let go of the secret that he’d been wanting to tell him so desperately. 

‘’Believe me when I say that it's been a torture to help you plan your wedding." Carefully he stood up and held out his hand to Ianto, who was still planted firmly on the ground.

‘’The couch might be a comfier place to talk than the ground.’’ He explained. Ianto took his hand and he quickly lifted him up. He had no idea what exactly happened, but before he knew it Ianto was leaning in his arms. Their faces, so close to each other that he could feel Ianto’s breath in his neck. Their twinkling eyes staring at each other until they were rudely interrupted by the bell and sprang apart.

"Shit… I forgot to tell you, Tosh asked if she could come by, she was quite distraught, something to do with Owen." He said as he looks at Jack and then the mess on the floor. The once fluid blood had mostly dried up and became a sticky mess.

"I'll put a towel over it and put the knife in the dishwasher." He said quickly. There was nothing else to do about it, for now, maybe Tosh wouldn't even notice.

"Put something… else on, like no bloody pyjamas." Ianto quickly said before he walked towards the door after the doorbell had been rung another time.

"I'm coming!" He yelled quickly. As quick as he could, he went towards the bathroom and took one of the largest towels they had from the cabinet and placed it carefully on the ground in the kitchen, careful to cover every little splatter of blood. The knife quickly found its way into the dishwasher after he'd rinsed it and the bloody tea towel had found its way into the washing machine. Just in time for Ianto and Tosh to enter the living room.

" Don't look at me, I'm just going to change. Of course, Ianto didn't tell me you were coming." He quickly told her, his head bowed down and his blood-soaked sleeve hidden behind his back. He let out a sigh of relief when he closed the bedroom door behind his back and took off the dirty clothes. He took the first thing he could find and put on the jeans and long-sleeved shirt, it was possible that the jeans were Ianto's, but he didn't think Ianto would mind or that Tosh would notice. When he re-entered the living room a few minutes later, completely presentable, his eyes drew towards the crying Tosh leaning on Ianto's shoulder. He'd met Tosh and Owen many times before, they'd been quite nice, especially Tosh. So it hurt him to see bright, sweet Tosh being so heartbroken.

" What happened?" He asked more to Ianto than Tosh, because he figured that she didn't want to repeat herself.

" We had a row, I confronted him about where he'd been going all the time, only to come back hours later. I was afraid that he had something with his beautiful co-worker Diane. We said some stupid things and in the heath of the fight I accidentally told him that maybe we needed a break." Tosh told him through hiccups.

"Oh no, come here." He said and placed himself on the other side of her body, engulfing her in a hug. She was being sandwiched by them both.

"Do you know where Owen went to?" He asked her quickly, maybe he or Ianto could talk to the man and see if things would be able to be saved pretty easily.

"I don't… know. He stor… Stormed out rather soon after I.. I said those stu… stupid words." Her hiccuping was getting worse as the more tears rolled down her cheeks. The little make up she was wearing had been smeared across her face and had stained Ianto's shirt, not that he cared about that one bit.

"Why don't you stay here for the night. Then you two can both cool down and think things through calmly. We could watch some chick flicks or maybe Tintin, remember how Tintin would always get our spirits up when we were young." Ianto told her and nudged her petite form, a smile formed on her face as soon as he'd mentioned Tintin.

"Yeah, Owen hated it with a passion. I don't know why he thinks such a young boy would screw his dog." She said through a quiet giggle.

"Let's forget about Owen for a few hours. You can lend some clothes from me to sleep in and we have a camping bed on which you can sleep tonight. Everything will be fine, just you remember." Ianto whispered into her ear. It warmed his heart to see him take care of one of his best friends like that. It made him realise that his heart had made the right choice in loving him with everything he got. Now he only had to wait until they were alone again to finish what they had been talking about.

It was hours later, after Tosh - quite a bit drunken - had fallen asleep on the couch and they'd covered her up with a blanket. It was no use waking her up, only to make her go to sleep again on the camping bed. Her small body would fit perfectly on the comfy couch for a night. For a few minutes, Ianto had stood there, trying to decide what to do. Should he go and set up the camping bed again and sleep on there, or walk towards the bed that he'd occupied the last couple of nights after he'd felt too uncomfortable to stay away from him during his sickness. He was doubting it as he rather liked waking up beside Jack. In the end, he doubtfully walked towards the bed and lay down on it. He wasn't too sure Jack would like him to be there, nor was he sure it was a good idea. But he did want it, he wanted to wake up next to Jack in the morning. Wanted to kiss him goodnight, wanted to ring him up when something amazing happened or when his day turned to shit. It all sounded quite sappy and as if it came straight out of a romantic movie, but it was how he felt about his friend. There was nothing to be done about that, nothing that could change the way he felt about him.

"You know, we never did get to talk." Jack started and looked up from the book he'd been trying to finish for quite some time now. He placed some a receipt in between the pages and closed it with a bang. The book made its way towards the bedside table again as Jack's eyes kept trained on him.

"Maybe it's better to wait until we're alone again." He responded when he sat down on the bed and lifted the blanket up until his hips. The summer weather wasn't so hot that you could sleep without it, but also not cold enough to cover one’s self completely under the covers.

" I can't, I need to tell you at least a little. I can wait with some, but there's one thing I need to get off my chest before I close my eyes and fly to dreamland." Jack told him quite seriously, so he nodded for him to continue and turned himself fully around so he was facing Jack.

"Before I met you, this house was just a brick building designed to protect me from the elements. It was just a place where I would go to after work. But ever since I met you, ever since you moved in, it has been filled with laughter, friendship and… love. Because over time it became all the more clear to me that I do love you. With all my heart and soul Ianto." 

"I… I don't know what to say." He told him after a while. Tosh's soft snoring could be heard in the background while he intertwined his hand with Jack's. Words failed him, but he was pretty sure the smile on his face told Jack enough of what he needed to know if it hadn't already been clear.

"You don't have to, come here." Before he knew it, he was lying in Jack's arms. His strong, hot arms were surrounding his hips and his head found a comfy space on Jack's chest to lie on. It was a start, but tomorrow they would talk about all the other things they would need to. Now he just wanted to sleep as his eyes felt heavy and he was way too comfortable in his current situation.

"Sleep," Jack whispered into his ear. It was exactly what he did, and he couldn't remember a time when he'd slept better.


	9. Wakey wakey

A loud banging abruptly woke him up early in the morning. He shook up from Jack's arms - which had been loosely lying around him the whole night - and sat up straight on the bed. The banging continued and seemed to come from the front side of the house.

"It's freaking 6 am! Who for fucks sake starts banging on someone else’s door at this time of the day?" He grumpily stated. There was a slight pause, but then it continued again. So after checking if no one else had woken up from the godforsaken noise, he made his way towards the place where the noise came from. The front door. He peeked through the looking glass in the door and saw someone he hadn't expected to see this early on in front of his door. Before his hand could knock on the wooden door again he unlocked the door and flung it open. Big eyes were watching him, he was only dressed in his pyjamas after all.

"Is she here? I need to speak to her!" Owen said when he - without permission - marched into the house.

" Good morning to you too, yes I'd love a cup of coffee." He told no one at all quite sarcastically. Owen had already stormed into the living room and found a still asleep Tosh on the couch. Quickly he closed the door and locked it again. 

"Couldn't you have waited for a little longer Owen?" Owen completely ignored him as he stared at the sleeping beauty in front of him and came to a halt.

" I couldn't. I'm sorry, but I can't lose her." He told him frantically.

"I was so afraid about where she went, for all I knew she could've gone back to Japan," Owen whispered into the morning air. 

"We both know she wouldn't do that." He made his way towards the kitchen and started to prepare two cups of coffee. At least he could wake up a little that way. Because if he knew Owen, and he liked to think he knew his childhood friend quite well, then he knew that Owen was going to wake up Tosh pretty soon.

‘’What’s that noise?’’ A moaning Jack said as he walked into the living room. His eyes rounded in shock as he saw a frantic Owen standing before him. He rubbed his sleepy eyes a few times before he seemed certain he wasn't dreaming anymore.

" Ah Jack, you're just in time to witness it all," Ianto told him and handed him one of the finished, steaming cups of coffee. The steam was fogging his glasses when he tried to take a sip, one look at Jack showed him that he was also experiencing the same problem.

"Should I ask him?" He whispered into Jack's ear, they stood both watching a frozen Owen and waited for him to do something, just anything… at all.

"Nah, let's keep him in suspense for a little longer. Can I make you some breakfast?" He shook his head, there would be no way in hell that any food would stay in his stomach while he waited for something to happen between his friends. If it were really over between Tosh and Owen, then they were both going to have a lot of things on their hands to help them through the heartbreak. He just couldn't imagine them not being together, they'd been a couple for so long already, even before he started dating Lisa. And they all knew how that ended. Patiently he looked towards the clock hanging on the wall above Tosh's head, hopefully, he would have some time left to talk to Jack properly before his shift would start. Owen slowly started to make his way towards the couch, carefully he sat down next to Tosh's snoring body, still peacefully asleep on the couch. His right hand made its way towards her midriff and his left towards her face. Carefully he shook her awake and coaxed her with loving words. She started to mumble during her time between sleep and awake. A smile splayed across her lips when she started to wake up fully and slowly opened her eyes. Jack and he stood sneakily in the doorway of their bedroom watching the whole ordeal happening in front of their eyes. There was nothing sweeter than the love he knew his friends felt for each other.

"Hey," Owen started as soon as Tosh's eyes opened fully and registered shock at seeing him here.

"Owen. What are you doing here?" She asked quietly, probably due to the hangover she must be feeling right now. She drank way too much wine for such a petite person to consume.

"Looking for you of course, what else?" 

"I don't know." Her eyes averted from his and seemed to seek them. With an encouraging smile, he let them continue their conversation.

"Shouldn't you be at Diane's?" She asked rather hatefully. He knew that Owen must've felt hurt right now, but as he was facing his back he had no idea what kind of emotion was placated on his face.

"Why for heaven's sake would I be there? I was searching for you. I thought you would come back, but then after hours of nothing but emptiness I began to get really worried, and of course, you forgot your mobile so I had no idea how to reach you." Tosh's harsh eyes turned rather sweet, a soft tint came to it, but he could still see her anger in it. She needed answers and quick, otherwise, there would be nothing to safe.

" Then where do you go every time? Where do you disappear to, when you're off?" She sat up properly now and stared him into the eyes. When Tosh wanted to know something she would always get her way. No one could get away from those angry eyes.

"I…" Owen looked back, a plea of help clearly written on his face. But as he and Jack knew nothing about the circumstances they left him to his fate. 

"You're talking to me, Owen. So where did you go? If you don't want to tell me just say so, but I won't be able to get back with you. I need some honesty in my life. And if you're not willing to give me that then I'm not the person for you." How she did it, he had no idea. But Owen let out a sigh of defeat and looked her straight in the face.

"It was supposed to be a surprise." He said before he stood up from the couch and dropped on one knee. Her hands flew to her mouth as surprise took over her body.

"Quick, give me your phone." He whispered towards Jack, who obligingly gave him his phone. Without asking he started to record the scene in front of him, he knew Tosh would want to see this back later on. 

" I was taking extra shifts to safe for a ring. I was going to ask you to marry me… but since it's out of the bag now anyway. Toshiko Sato, do you want to marry plain, old me? I don't have a ring now, but I'll get one as soon as I can if you agree." He asked with a gigantic, hopeful smile on his face. 

"Of course, yes, why would you even doubt that?" She threw herself in his arms in joy, her arms around his neck as her face found its way on his shoulder.

"You're only a few months older you stupid." She told him a bit too loud.

"I know." He mumbled into her neck. He looked at Jack, who even though he didn't know them for that long, was smiling like a buffoon at the pair of them. All that fuss for nothing.

"Congratulations guys." He said, he put his mug on the table and made his way towards the happy couple.

" Now that that's done, maybe we could make some breakfast? Oh and congrats, would've been a shame to see you guys break up." Jack said, his stomach started to grumble at the thought of food and made him all the more noticeable of his hunger on the early morning, not like last night's dinner had been much of a supper compared to other nights. 

"Yes, breakfast. Sorry for waking you up so early. It's just… you know." Owen tried to explain, he knew what he tried to say without words and waved all of it away without a word. What were friends for?

\--0O0--

After Tosh and Owen left mere hours later an awkward silence hung in the air and kept them from talking. Neither dared to talk about what had transpired before they had been interrupted the day before. If he was honest with himself, he didn't really know what to say. He'd already let it be known that he loved him. As did Jack. What would there be left to say? Yes, they would need to talk about how they were going to do it. As same-sex relationships still weren't that accepted, even though other countries had already legalised same-sex marriages. It was a strange world. Quietly he packed his bag, put on some decent clothes, and made his way towards the hospital. Gwen would be waiting there for him to take over his shift. The Welsh woman had quickly become his friend after they had to share many shifts at the hospital together. One did not simply stay acquaintances after having worked closely together for years. He put a fake smile on his face that hid the worries he felt towards Jack and his recent behaviour. It wasn't very difficult today to fake it as he had some joyous news to share with her.

"Afternoon. How was your shift?" He asked her politely when he made his way towards the changing rooms, With his freshly fetched uniform in hand. It was a rule that no one took his uniform home but instead handed it in after the shift to get it professionally cleaned. At your next shift, you could just take another uniform from the collection of freshly cleaned uniforms. The crocks might not be the most comfortable or the latest fashion of footwear, but they were certainly easy to keep clean.

"Tiring, Maddie's condition got worse, the heart surgeon had to come in and perform an emergency operation. She's fine now, back in her incubator. And remember Lois? She just had her baby girl. She's in her room, some other nurses are fussing over her, I would say ‘Hi’ when they're done. She was completely expecting to see you there hours ago." Gwen told him while she followed him towards the changing rooms.

"No shit, Maddie was doing so good." He mumbled to himself before disappearing inside, a few minutes later he walked out in his usual work outfit. Now it was time to care for the babies on their baby ward. Normally babies like Maddie, who were born premature and/or needed special attention were redirected towards the neonatal intensive care unit, otherwise known as the NICU, they don't stay at the maternity ward. But sometimes the nurses would check up on mother and child and go by, or they would be rostered at the NICU. On a slow day, around 8 babies could be born at the ward. But when things got busy there could be an average of 14 babies born. And sometimes you really didn't want to come near women in pain, they could turn into monsters, demanding some kind of pain reliever. But then there were the special cases when a woman stayed her usual self, but then in pain, and kept being nice about the whole ordeal. In short, it was never a boring day at the maternity ward, the hospital staff would keep you busy otherwise.

"So I've got some interesting news for you. I'm going to jinx myself by telling you this, but Tosh and Owen just got engaged in our living room. Quite the spectacle." He told her. Her eyes turned big as she heard the news, he averted his eyes as he got busy trying to put candy in his inner pocket. He always had some with him for when a couple had to take their other kid with them. It would keep the child occupied for a few minutes while they checked upon the woman in labour.

"Are you for real?" She asked him a little too loud. He shook his head in reassurance. A smile had been plastered on his face ever since he came in. 

" I'm sure they'll call you as soon as you're home, so please act surprised." He pleaded with her, her shift was almost done and soon he would need to take over from her. He really had to clear his head as his patients, no matter how little, didn't deserve to have their nurse distracted by personal problems.

"Wow, I hadn't seen that coming."

"Well so didn't Tosh, you'll have to ask her for the whole story. I can't tell you too much." Apologetically, he made his way towards the counter and asked after Lois. She was in ward three, currently in pain after just giving birth to her baby girl, funniest of all, even though he couldn't admit that out loud, was that her husband of a year had fainted at seeing all the blood and gore. Many men acted like that, how, he would never know.

"How suits married life you? Mrs Williams?" He tried to be teasing, but he didn't really think he'd succeeded as Gwen's expression turned rather sour. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" He immediately asked, he could feel the eyes of their college's burning in his back, so he steered her away from them towards a quiet corner. It was the most privacy they would get right now.

" I just found out I'm pregnant." Tears started to stream from her eyes, so he took her into his arms and tried to calm her. His hand rubbed circles on her back.

" Isn't that fantastic?"

"I.. I do- don't know." She told him through her sobbing. She and Rhys had been married for about two years now, they eloped as both their parents had been against the marriage. And as far as he knew they'd been trying for a baby ever since January last year when they'd decided that yes, they did want kids in their life. And yes, it would be alright if that happened now. She'd told him they hadn't really tried that desperately, but they'd been hoping for those magic words ever since. And now it happened, and she was describing her doubt to him.

" You know Rhys would be ecstatic."

"I know."

"Then what is the problem? Explain it to me, maybe I can help." He asked her. He knew something was wrong, but in order for him to understand, she had to explain it clearly to him.

" It's just our parents. As much as I love them, they don't shut up about our ill-matched marriage and how I could've chosen a much better profession than a nurse. They don't get it that this is my life, not theirs." Her sobs hadn't quietened throughout it all, possibly even gotten worse.

"Fuck them, if they don't want to accept you then they shouldn't have the privilege to be part of your life." She looked up with her tearstained puppy dog eyes at him and a slight smile on her face.

"How is it that you always manage to find the right thing to say?"

"I have no idea, but this is your and Rhys's life, live it to the fullest. From the moment he's home you're telling him the news otherwise I'll personally tell him." As much as he loved his friend, he didn't think Rhys would appreciate it to be told one of the most important things in his life's through one of his wife's best friends. Somehow throughout time, he, Tosh, Owen, Gwen, Rhys and eventually Jack, had become a close group of friends. He didn't think he would be able to enjoy life without them.

"Alright, so now you're going to go to that beautiful husband of yours and tell him I said ‘Hi’. And I'm going to check on Mrs Jansen to see how far she's been dilated, those twins aren't going to be born by themselves."


	10. old acquaintances

It was time, time tell the truth about him. About his past, present and future. He was certain that this time things would be different. 

" Time to stop running." He whispered to himself when he watched Ianto leave the house. This was probably it, his one chance to do what was right. His one chance to safe himself from eternity. In his head, he made a shopping list for the plan he had. He knew Ianto wouldn't be home until late at night so it might be nice to come home to a nicely cooked meal. He barely cooked at all, even though he'd managed to create 5-star meals in his Immortal years. It wasn't very far towards the first supermarket nearby. He'd forgone the car for once and walked his way towards the shop, it gave him some time - and peace - to think his plan through. First, he was going to cook Ianto a meal he hoped would bring his spirits up. Then he wanted to start the conversation about them. And after that, he wanted to show him his reality. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. He was so in thought that at first, he didn't even notice her standing only a few meters away from him. But after he'd gotten a shopping cart and wanted to make his way in, he spotted her. She stood talking to an elderly lady on the side of the road. From shock, he stood still and gaped at her appearance. She looked exactly the same, her clothes had changed though, more modern than all those years ago. Slowly - and without even realising - he walked towards her and before he knew it he stood face to face with the woman who had made his life a living hell on earth.

"You!" He practically screamed in her face. The woman looked up shocked at him, clearly feeling threatened by his appearance.

"Agatha Firewrist! Yo-" at that point the woman he was 100% sure of to be his curser, put her hand on top of his mouth.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not that woman. " She said calmly. Her eyes were twinkling as she looked at him and he just knew that she was not telling the truth or keeping something from him. Harshly he took her hand in his and moved it away from his face.

"I'll see you later Nancy." She said to the other woman who walked away, curiously, towards the flower shop on the other side of the street.

"My name is Lily Gregory. Agatha was my great grandmother." She explained to him and waved him towards the bench where she sat down and stared at him.

"How did you know her?" She asked peculiarly when he sat down next to her. Was she really who she said she was? Could he trust her?

" Right, I know I shouldn't have asked that. Sorry. Great grandmother did a lot of awful things in her time, or so granny told me.’’ He had no idea why, but he trusted this stranger.

" You look a lot like her." He sighed, how had he never seen her before in Cardiff? 

" Yes, so I've been told on many occasions actually. I'm going to assume you know all about our families history, so you'd know that many a witch has told me the same thing you just did. Some even assumed I was her, she was always talking about finding the elixir of life, so it's no wonder." Her soft smile made him feel a little better about it all. At least her descendants didn't approve of all the things she'd done or had been planning to do. He hadn't really kept a close eye on her or her plans. He'd been too busy trying to save his own skin. He kept quiet, staring at his hands while he tried to think about what to say.

" You're her victim, aren't you? That's why you were so mad when you saw me." Her words brought him out of his trance, his head snapped up and he looked her straight in the eye.

"How do you know?" 

" Her magic is all around you, I can feel it." For a moment he doubted if she was her great grandmother’s doppelganger, but only looking at her made him sure that the woman in front of him was completely the opposite of what she'd been. But looks could deceive, as he'd had to learn the hard way around.

" A long time ago she cursed me, I'm immortal until I find my true love." He told her like they'd known one another for years on end.

"Oh, I've heard of you. Granny would always tell me of this guy who her mother had cursed with the cruellest thing she could think of. I'm really sorry about that." Her genuine affection showed on her face and even though he could hear her words, it would've felt better to hear it from the curser herself.

" I think my family has something to make up to you. She did murder the rest of the village, so why she rendered you to this fate, I wouldn't know." She began to say. Her apology didn't really make any sense. Why should her family be held responsible for what her great grandmother did out of rage towards the human population? Her hand went towards her chin and her eyes cast upwards. He could practically see the cogwheels turning in front of her head.

"Aha, I know it. As my final act of kindness to humanity, I do this." She swished with her finger in front of his face. At first, he thought she'd been joking as nothing happened. He'd been ready for some kind of hidden camera to come out and surprise him. But then it happened. His airway tightened, his hands flew towards his neck while he struggled to take a breath. Confused and most of all shocked he sprang up and struggled to keep his balance. He stumbled backwards, blackspots covered his vision while he stumbled faster backwards. He didn't know it, but a car was fast approaching. The honks passed by his ears, the invisible hand on his throat disappeared and he took a deep breath and then... his body was impacted by something big. The car, whose driver had expected Jack to move out of the way, couldn't dodge his body and hit him with a great impact, making his body fly several metres through the air before it fell on the floor with an audible thud. Not like he'd noticed any of that, because everything had gone black as soon as the car hit him.

He opened his eyes and he could vaguely see the woman's silhouette. Her panic-stricken face stared at him while she called someone. She leaned closer towards his ear and whispered:’’ You're going to be okay." In a mysterious way before everything faded to black altogether.

  
  


\--0O0--

"Okay, the head is out. We just need one more push. Can you do that?" He asked Mrs Smith. He was currently holding a blood-covered baby head which was sticking out of a woman's vagina, just a usual day at work.

He smiled towards the sweating woman on the bed. The pain she must've been feeling was nothing compared to what any men would be able to imagine. She nodded and he could see her squeezing her husband's hand a little tighter.

"Alright, one, two, three, push!" He told her when the time came, not even a minute after her last contraction. He was taking out the tiny, screaming baby and before he could blink, Lyla, his college had wrapped a cloth around the baby’s fragile body. While he held the newborn, his college put the clamp around the umbilical cord and handed the scissors toward the dad.

" If you could cut as close towards the clamp as possible." He told her and held out the baby. It was exactly 14.32 when he held the baby, he would need to remember that for the files. Once cut loose, he took care of the baby, while his colleges took care of Mrs Smith and the sack that would still need to come out of her vagina. 

"Yes, yes, it's going to be fine." He told the baby while he tried to calm the young boy before he handed him over towards the young mother.

" There you go little guy, a little bit cleaner." He told him, the baby boy soon quieted down just seconds before he lay him on his mother's chest. With a pained smile, he watched the mother and father adore the kid who had just been born.

"Ianto! Ianto!" A young girl yelled while she ran into the room. Shocked, he looked towards the intruder who carefully closed the door behind her before she put her hands on her knees and tried to catch her breath. Her face was beet red and she seemed so young in comparison to most women who worked here, but if he didn't already know her then the nurses uniform could've told him she worked here at the least.

"What is it, Annie?" She looked up and tried to talk with as much energy as possible.

"It's doctor Harper. He says it's urgent."

‘’I can’t, I’m sorry Annie, but I’m busy.’’ He told her, what did Owen want of him now?

‘’He told me you’d say that. So he told me to say it was about Jack. Something’s happened.’’ His eyes turned the size of saucers and he watched her with an open mouth.

‘’Just go Ianto, we’ll manage,’’ Lyla said from next to him. Without a second doubt he - professionally - walked towards Annie and followed her out of the ward. Then without even asking, she began to run and he ran after her. His head was going crazy and it felt like his body had petrified. He just narrowly avoided a collision with another patient ‘’ I’m sorry.’’ He yelled towards her and raced away. It wasn't hard to spot which room he had to be once they entered the right ward. Cops were standing just outside the door conversing with a young woman about something. It wasn't uncommon to see cops at the A&E. Owen just left the room in question when he wanted to ask Annie for sure which room they needed to be before his heart started to beat out of his chest and his head began to panic.

" Ah, Ianto, there you are." His face didn't look promising, it looked rather grief-stricken. What was going on? And why was Jack involved?

" Thank you, Annie, could you leave the two of us alone now?" He asked the young nurse, obediently she nodded and walked away. He was quite out of breath when Owen beckoned him closer.

" What's wrong?" He asked, there wasn't enough breath in his lungs to start any long sentences as they'd just been running through the whole hospital in a few minutes time, which usually took far longer on foot, hence why so many doctors made their way through the hospital on a step when they had to go far.

"Let's just go inside, it might be easier if I show you." He said and opened the door he'd just closed behind him. Owen walked in first and he walked behind him, not wanting to see what he feared was going to happen. He watched the ground until he heard the firm click of the door behind him, slowly he brought his gaze towards where he knew the bed would be standing.

"God no!" Left his mouth out of pure shock. There, right in front of him, lay an unconscious Jack. His heart was beating normally and he didn't have a tube in his mouth to provide him with some much-needed air, but the horror in front of him still scared him.

" I'm sorry Ianto," Owen told him, he could feel his friends hand on his shoulder while he fixated on Jack. It couldn't be, just this morning he'd been fine.

" What happened?" He whispered without really registering. His body stood petrified, watching the monitor with one eye and with the other looking at Jack, who seemed to be sleeping there so peacefully.

" Hit-and-run accident. Someone found him and called 999."

" How is he? Any internal bleeding?"

" Miraculously not."

" Brain damage? Or leaking brain fluids?"

" According to the brain scans not, but we can only guess some things until he wakes up. And there's nothing leaking. There was a little swelling in his brain at the beginning but that seems to have gone."

" Bones?"

" His right wrist is in a cast, and so is his left leg. He's going to need all the help he needs when he wakes up and possibly goes home." Home. Possibly. No. No, Jack was going to wake up, he was going to be fine. Before he knew it they would be trying to keep Jack in bed as he knew Jack didn't like hospitals. He knew that Jack would want to go home as soon as possible. Owen - now holding both his shoulders - steered him towards the chair next to the bed and pushed him down on it. He was sure that his knees would give out soon anyway, so it was better to have something to sit on in case his knees really gave out. Owen kneeled down in front of him and stared him in the eye.

" Ianto, Ianto look at me. He's going to be fine. He might take some time to wake, but he's going to be fine, just you see." Owen assured him. Owen was the best doctor he knew, so if he knew more than he would've obviously said so, his friend wasn't the person to give someone false hope.

" How could this have happened?" He murmured to no one at all. Owen was checking something, he wasn't really paying close attention to what exactly.

"I'm not sure, maybe that woman in the hallway knows. She claims she found him on the road at the grocery store."

‘’And… his spine?’’ he barely dared to voice it. It was very common for a victim to come in with spinal cord injuries or even worse, a broken neck. He didn’t want Jack to get paralyzed. He leaned forwards in his chair and grabbed Jack’s left arm in his hands.

‘’No, he’s going to be fine. Like I told you.’’ As quick as a leopard he shot up out of the chair.

‘’I’ve got to go back to work.’’ He mumbled more to himself than to Owen. But his friend was the one who stopped him, both physically and mentally.

‘’Ianto, you’re not fit to work like this. Sit.’’ Owen said and pushed him back into the chair. 

‘’I’ll clock you out and arrange with HR for you to get free the rest of the day.’’ With that Owen walked out of the room and left him alone with a peacefully sleeping Jack. He seemed so innocent when he was asleep. No worries, no… nothing. 

A nurse came in and without a word handed him the plastic bags with Jack's possessions. Everything - even the cut-off clothes - he'd been wearing on him. He put the bag with the clothes aside and checked if Jack still had his most precious possessions. He could see his wallet, keys, some weird kind of wrist strap and there it was: the high-quality picture of the young girl he knew nothing about, but at the same time knew she was important to Jack. He closed the bag and put it next to him on the chair. The only sounds he could hear were those of the beeping machines and their breath. Deep breath in, and out. He was going to be okay.

‘’I love you, you dumbass.’’


	11. Hospital dramas

People talking. Noises. Eyes don't want to open. Don't want to wake yet, but there's something off. The bed doesn't feel the same, and the acoustics in the room are unfamiliar. Something is wrong.

"Ianto, you're free to go." He heard someone say. Ianto is there. What is he doing?

"Thanks, Owen." So Owen was there too. Was something wrong with Tosh? If only he could remember what he'd done before he fell asleep.

" Do you think he's going to wake up soon?" Ianto asked, presumably to Owen. He felt someone grasp his arm, a strong grip.

"You know I can't predict that Ianto, he's going to wake when he's ready. Not sooner and definitely not later. The brain is a tricky thing to work with." His brain? What was wrong with his brain?

‘’I know. I just can’t take this any longer. This wasn’t supposed to happen.’’ 

‘’Ianto, these things are never supposed to happen. That’s why they’re called accidents.’’ Slowly and against his will - he just wanted to go back to sleep - his eyelids started to get lighter. They fluttered and little by little he could see more of the room. He wasn’t home, then where was he? A look to his left showed Ianto - sitting on the chair, ducked down and silently crying - who was awkwardly comforted by Owen. The young doctor didn’t like this part that well he could see. His face seemed torn between concern and a fleeting emotion. Owen - probably trying to think of a way out - looked up and saw Jack, wide awake, and staring at the both of them with an apologetic smile on his face. Sheepishly he looked at the young doctor who immediately left his friend's side and went towards him, his patient.

"How are you feeling?" He said while he shone a little lamp in his eyes, which was blindingly white. He couldn't see what Ianto was doing, he was too busy trying to get his sight back properly, but he could just feel a change in the atmosphere of the room.

"My head aches, like really bad." His head had been throbbing ever since he came back to the land of the living. The door opened and the moment he saw a copper walk through it, he knew what happened. He knew how terrified he'd felt when he couldn't breathe anymore and most of all when that car hit him and he felt like he was going to die.

"That's understandable, you've taken a huge hit to the head," Owen responded to him before the copper distracted him with his question. He could only look at Ianto while he heard the two talk, or more like argue.

"Can we ask the patient some questions?" He heard the man ask.

"I'm busy, can't you see that? He's only just woken up, I need some time to examine my patient. So if you will just wait in the hall I'll call you in when I'm done." He heard Owen say - pretty pissed off - and shoo out the cop, the door clicked and he could hear the young man's dramatic sigh before he came back towards his side. The heart monitor had started beeping louder when he began to panic about all that had happened. 

"Okay, Ianto, could you take a step outside too? You can come back in here soon enough." Owen told Ianto, who looked like he was going to start a riot at being ordered away from his side. He send Ianto an understanding look, he was probably going to need Ianto out of the room anyway when Owen tried to piece together what happened.

"It's okay." He whispered to him. Ianto looked away at first, but then when their eyes met, he could see Ianto's red-rimmed eyes and the pure angst swimming in them, which was paining him to look at.

"I’m just going to get you some clothes, you stay here, and listen to what Owen tells you to do." He awkwardly looked at Jack and the beeping machines next to him before he stood up and left the room.

"Be safe." He breathed, it was barely audible so he imagined Ianto didn't even hear it before the door closed again.

\--0O0--

When Ianto found something difficult to process, he first liked to sulk, keep it to himself. But then after that first stage, he would go talk to someone close to him, or in this case call. His fingers had dialled the number before his brain had caught up with it all. But he needed to talk to someone, so why not her?

‘’ Hi Ianto, how are you?’’ Lisa’s voice boomed through the speaker.

‘’Lisa.’’ He said not fully in the present yet. Her voice had sounded groggy, but rather cheerful.

‘’Yes, Ianto, are you alright?’’

‘’Not really no.’’

‘’ Tell me what's wrong. Are you safe? Not driving?’’

‘’No, I'm sitting in the car park, inside the car.’’

‘’Good, stay there. Talk to me, what’s going on?’’

‘’I'm in love with Jack.’’ It left his mouth before he knew it. This time he was more sure of himself than ever.

‘’Oh Ianto, be honest with me, I think you've been in love with him for longer than you've realised.’’ She said and let out a sigh. Somehow it felt comforting to hear her say these words. At least he knew for sure that someone else had seen it too. That it wasn't just a figment of his imagination.

‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’ You know around the end of our relationship, sometime before I started cheating on you. I always felt something was off. Something changed in our relationship. In those last few months, you weren't really in love with me. Before you start interrupting, I know that you love me, always have and always will, just like I love you. But you haven't really been  IN love with me for quite some time. Neither have I to be honest. 

‘’How…’’

‘’If you just could've seen yourself. Your face would always light up when you mentioned Jack. I've felt quite jealous of him for quite some time now. What did he have that I didn't? That's when I noticed. I think we both were so in love with the idea of us, that we didn't really notice that we weren't  IN  love anymore. It might've been for the best that you caught me cheating that day. What would our marriage have been like if we were both pining after different people? You might've not known yet at that moment, but believe me you would've realised it rather sooner than later. ‘’

‘’ So you're not mad?’’

‘’How could I? I was the one who finalized it in the end. But don't you think we would've ended up miserable if we proceeded the marriage?’’

‘’I don't know. I still love you, but you're right, I haven't been  IN love with you for a while. Thinking back I haven't felt those heart-fluttering moments we had in the beginning. ‘’

‘’Well, let's not mourn on it too much. So what happened?’’

‘’Yesterday I confessed my love for Jack by accident to him. We haven't really talked about it yet, but just a short while ago he was brought into the hospital, hit-and-run accident, and I'm just not sure what to do, or what to think. I can't do this right now, I can't tell him I love him, but at the same time I can't leave him.’’

‘’Give me one reason why you can’t?’’

‘’I just… I can’t put him under that much pressure. He’s hurt and…’’

‘’So? He’s going to need you Ianto, and I'm positively sure of it that Jack feels the same about you. ‘’ Her voice, ever the doubt, sounded rather sure of herself. He had no reason to doubt her anymore, why would she? They were friends, who once dated, nothing more. Even though he’d been planning to spend the rest of his life with her once. 

‘’I hope you’re right.’’ He sighed and stared out of the window. The sun was still shining bright in the late evening. 

‘’ I know it, trust me.’’

\--0O0--

‘’Have you…’’

‘’ No suspect has been found yet, but a damaged car has been brought in a car repair shop. We're going to look into that. We'll let you know as soon as something changes. Good day to you sir.’’ The copper said before he left the room and he was once again left on his own. His head was still hurting like hell - no matter how many aspirins Owen had tried to feed him - which wasn’t much as there was a maximum of how many you were allowed to take at once. The door hadn’t even closed before the next person came barging in.

‘’YOU!’’ He screamed when he saw the woman walking in with a smile on her face. Her heels clicked on the hard ground with every step she stood and averted his attention from her cheeky smile.

‘’Me?’’ she asked and sat down on the chair Ianto previously occupied. He’d much rather see Ianto sitting there than the women who almost killed him, out of remorse.

‘’Yes, you. What did you do that for?’’

‘’As I said, kindness.’’

‘’Well, it’s not really kind to get somebody almost killed.’’

‘’Oh come off it, you would’ve survived anyway. This had to happen in order for your immortality to disappear. I’m much smarter than you think of me, and no, I’m not the woman who cursed you, I’m a good witch.’’

" Then why? Why did you do it? Fuck." He asked, rather pissed off about her antics. His screaming had opened up the wound on the corner of his mouth again and it really hurt to feel it rip apart.

"Calm down, if you calm down I'll tell you. The truth of course." She said. His heart monitor had been going skyrocket so he doubted they would stay alone for long. He took a deep breath in and breathed out through his nose. He repeated this process until his heartbeat had calmed and his cheeks had cooled down.

"Okay, now tell me." He said when he'd reasonably calmed down.

"Alright, so you remember how you can't die?" He nodded and kept silent while he stared at her.

" So you're suffering from the infamous love curse, in order for your special person to finally tell you the truth, and yes I've seen him doing so before, something big had to happen. If I hadn't intervened your future could've gone two ways, or this Ianto could've denied it and gone away, out of Cardiff and you wouldn't ever see him again or he would confess his true feelings again and the curse would be reversed eventually. In the end, it's your call if you'll reveal your past, but remember, you have to do that in order to break the curse. Oh and before I forget, I made a sort of loophole, remember how she said you couldn’t mention the curse before, I’ve edited it a little so you can mention it." With that said she stood up and walked out of the room, without even a second glance at him. The silence surrounded him and left him with too much space in his brain to doubt every second of what was going to happen next.

\--0O0--

"I'm sorry sir, but visiting hours are over." He dangled the plastic bag containing some decent clothes for Jack - a pyjama for now and some normal clothes for when he was discharged - when the  _ kind  _ nurse held him back.

" I know, sorry, uhm what's your name.. oh Susan, I'm Ianto Jones, I work upstairs at the maternity ward. I'm just on my way to Dr Harper. He's supposed to be here somewhere." She looked like she had no idea what he was talking about and was surely going to call security on him until he called the name Harper. Somehow many nurses - and even doctors - fancied the pants off of his dear friend. Honestly, he had no idea how, but he quite liked to watch it happen. He'd taken off his uniform a while ago before he went home and was walking in his own clothes, which might be why she didn't believe him.

"I can accompany you to Dr Harper. He's in room 12 at the moment taking care of a kid's broken wrist. She took quite the fall when she 'fell off the stairs' while sleepwalking at night. They all claim it was an accident, but the authorities have been informed just to be sure, there was something off about how scared they all seemed of the father." He let her talk while he followed her towards Owen. There was no way he would be able to get in other ways.

"Ah, Dr Harper, I've someone for you here." She said when she entered the room, politely he waited outside to give the family inside some privacy.

"Ianto?" He looked up confused, but something seemed to dawn a few seconds later when he put the finishing touches to the girls cast.

" I'll be with you in a sec. You can go, Susan, I'll take it from here." With a flush on her face, she left the room and went back to where she came from, while he stood awkwardly in the hallway waiting for Owen to finish up. He could easily walk towards Jack's room, he still knew where it was, but he didn't think he could go in there unnoticed. So it was better to just wait and walk with his fellow college and friend towards the room he'd been dreading to enter again. It wasn't even a minute later before the family of three walked out of the room and quickly slipped out of the hospital altogether.

"Follow me." Owen just said and walked along to Jack's room. Obediently he walked behind him and tried to keep up with Owen's pace. 

"Ianto? Owen?" Jack said the moment they walked inside. A smile made its way to his face when he saw Jack with a little more colour on his cheeks. Was it just him or did those abrasions clear away in the time he'd been gone? Had they even been there or had they just been a figment of his imagination?

" You guys know I'm breaking several hospital rules here right now, so you better be glad," Owen said when he began to check all the machines Jack was hooked upon. 

"Got you some clothes… I'm sorry it took me so long before I came back." It had been two hours, 40 minutes and he didn't know how many seconds ago that he'd left Jack's room. If it hadn't been summertime the sky would've already turned a deep dark kind of blue, but the sun was still shining bright in the sky. 

"Doesn't matter, you're here now that's what matters." It felt kind of sappy, and maybe it was, but he couldn't care less about that simple fact. Like Lisa had said, he loved him, even though he'd only recently discovered it. He put the bag next to the chair and sat down.

" How are you feeling? Wait, stupid question, of course, you're not feeling well."

" I'm actually feeling a lot better than before," Jack said and smiled adorably at him.

" And so you should, you seem to be healing fine," Owen said, interrupting their… well whatever they'd been doing.

" So I can go home?" Jack asked, his face looked up to where Owen was standing, he looked so hopeful. Naturally, he could understand that hospitals were no fun place to be, not during the day and especially not during the night. 

" I'm sorry Jack, I'm going to have to keep you here for the night." Suddenly Jack's optimistic smile fell and left him sulking.

"It's okay Jack, I'll stay." He said and took Jack's non-broken hand in his.

" Ianto, you know you can't do that!" Owen responded sternly.

" Of course you can. If patients are afraid to stay on their own a bed will be provided for them to sleep in so the patient won't panic and try to escape. You know the drill." Owen let out a sigh and gave up. Ianto just knew too many hospital rules for Owen to win that argument, and on top of that Tosh would kill him if he didn't let them stay together. After her stay at Jack and Ianto's she'd been adamant that they were secretly dating.

"Okay, but if something happens I'm not taking the blame." 

" Why not? The nurses won't even say a thing if you let your charm do the work?" Jack yelled after him this time, so Jack had noticed too.

"What? Don't you think I'd notice that every time a nurse joins him he or she leaves with a beet red head?"


	12. Hospital Talk

Completely drained Ianto lay on the camping bed next to Jack's bed. Somehow they'd convinced the staff that he could stay the night with Jack, maybe Owen did have something to do with it, they would probably never know that. But it had been a rather awkward night - or more like half an hour - before the head nurse decided that it was time for Jack to go asleep. 

"Are you asleep?" Jack whispered through the night air. The sun had gone down and the digital clock was currently flashing 01:29. They should've been asleep a long time ago, but his brain couldn't help but keep him awake with horrifying things that could've happened today.

"No." He whispered back. Looking to his right he could see two spooky eyes looking at him in the otherwise dark room.

"Could we… maybe… have that talk now?" Jack asked him carefully. There was no reason for him to be so insecure about the whole event as Ianto had already confessed his love before, but somehow Jack still was. 

While in truth it should've been Ianto who needed to be scared out of his mind for rejection. Officially the cat had already been out of the bag, then why was Ianto so nervous all of a sudden.

"Uh, oh, well, yeah, sure… I just didn't expect us to do that until you were better." He stumbled over his words and made a complete mess of himself while he sat up straight and faced Jack.

"Oh, well we could always postpone it you know." He said sheepishly and averted his eyes towards his cast covered arm. In the short time that the cast had been on his arm - and also his leg - he and Owen had already put some kind messages on it. And even a few smileys made their way on it.

" No, no, let's do it now. It might be best if we just got it out of the way you know." He said, Jack, looked up scared and probably awaited the worst. To reassure Jack he did the one thing he'd been dreaming about doing for so long. He sat up from his - uncomfortable - bed and sat down on Jack's, he waited a few seconds before he plunged his lips on top of Jack's and kissed the living daylight out of him. It felt so good to finally acknowledge what he'd wanted for quite some time now. His lips felt so soft, and at first, Jack sat completely still before the initial shock wore off, he didn’t push him back or anything, more like encouraging him to go on as Jack’s free arm went to circle around Ianto's body and his lips went to kiss him back. When finally they couldn’t survive any longer without fresh air, they broke apart and smiled at one another. The tension of a few minutes before had been completely broken and the atmosphere had turned into something far nicer than it had been when he walked into the room a few hours ago.

‘’Hi,’’ Jack whispered and put his forehead against Ianto’s. His eyes looked dreamily before he could spot some form of worry and anxiety in those enchanting orbs.

‘’Hey.’’ It stayed silent for a while during the time they looked each other in the eye. Jack was the first to break the enchanting eye contact with him and looked towards something over his shoulder.

‘’Okay, so we promised to talk.’’ He said and took Jack’s face in his hand and turned his face towards his so he could look Jack straight in the eye. There was only one thing that they could be going to talk about, their possible relationship. And personally, he couldn’t imagine them not getting together as their love declarations had already been spoken.

‘’Yes, yes, so uhm…’’

‘’Might I just say something beforehand? I know how we already professed our love to one another, so I’m not too sure what we need to talk about, but if you want to, maybe we could go out on a… date you know… soon. When you get out of here and maybe out of those casts. You know, dinner and a movie, or maybe something a little quieter? Because if there’s one thing that I found out, it’s that I’d really like to give this a shot.’’ Perplexed about himself - that he actually had the balls to ask Jack out - he awaited Jack’s response. Jack in his turn stared at him for a few long minutes before he shook his head.

‘’Yes! Of course. Honest to god, that has been something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while now. But first, you were smitten with Lisa, then you broke up with her and I just waited for the right moment. But you know, when is the right moment for something like that? A year? A month?’’

‘’Jack, you’re rambling.’’ relieved he let out a sigh, as he’d been holding his breath during Jack’s speech and took Jack’s hand - the one without the cast.

‘’Okay, phew, glad that’s been cleared. Alright, so what did you want to talk to me about?’’ He asked and squeezed Jack’s hand in reassurance while he waited. Jack averted his eyes again towards the bag next to the chair and pulled back his hand. Disappointed he watched what was going on, he'd always known Jack liked men too, he hadn't really hidden it from the world. So he didn't think that was something Jack was worried about right now.

‘’Are my things which they took from my body in that bag?’’ He asked.

‘’Yes, why?’’

‘’Could you give it to me? I need it to show you.’’ Quickly he stood up from the bed and took approximately two steps towards the chair to pick up the plastic bag in one go. He rummaged a little in it and found the other plastic zip bag he’d been handed hours ago. He put the clothes back on the chair and went to sit down on the bed again when he handed Jack the little plastic bag. Jack opened the zipper and got out his weird kind of wrist band.

‘’There’s something really important I need to tell you before this gets any further.’’ He frowned at Jack - who tried to sit up straighter on his place and winced when he put his weight on his bad arm.

‘’Don’t do that, let me help you at least.’’ He said and put his hands under Jack’s armpits. Carefully he lifted him up and set him against the headboard with a pillow behind him. Being a nurse would never really leave you. Something was clearly bugging Jack when he didn’t even protest. He only hoped it wasn’t something criminal related. 

‘’I’m not who you think I am.’’ He said eventually when he sat down again. Like a bomb had just dropped into the hospital room. Scared he awaited what Jack was on about, what was going on?

"MyrealnamesJavicandI'mfromthe51stcentury." He said it so fast that he couldn't understand him at first.

‘’I’m sorry, come again?’’ Jack took a deep breath in and let it slowly out through his nose. His eyes closed for a few seconds and when they opened it felt like they were staring into his soul.

‘’My real name is Javic and I’m from the 51st century.’’ Their eyes were locked to one another while Jack spoke. The moment of truth didn’t exactly go like he’d imagined it to go.

‘’So… let me get this straight. You’re from outer space? Like extraterrestrial? Like an alien?’’ He asked surprisingly quiet. Many people would’ve started laughing and called him a liar. But he’d always believed in the impossible. So he wasn’t that shocked.

‘’Basically yeah. Doesn’t that freak you out?’’

‘’Should it? The world is full of marvels we’ve still yet to uncover. Who knows what’s out there?’’ 

‘’Only I’m not an alien, into the far future people will start to explore the galaxy and move there. I’m from a colony of humans who moved up there.’’ Jack took on a dreamy exterior when he told him that. It couldn’t be other than he was reliving some memories of old.

‘’So what are you doing here? Don’t get me wrong, I love that you’re here, but why?’’ Jack started to fumble with his fingers and looked down at the blanket when he answered his question.

‘’We… we were attacked. An alien species, which you will hopefully never meet, attacked us and I had to flee. My family… they were dead before I could find them. My daughter and husband… they’re gone. So I did the only thing I could think about, I fled into the past.’’ 

‘’Oh my, that’s horrible.’’

‘’This wristband… With it, I can travel through time. It was part of my job at the agency. It doesn’t work anymore, otherwise, I wouldn’t be here anymore. But at the time it was my only escape. I used it and ended up in Victorian-era England. And honestly, I think that’s where my story starts. He hadn’t looked up once to him, he kept watching the blanket as if looking at something else would kill him. Not daring to ask anything, he kept silent and waited for Jack to give him all the facts. It would be better when he knew the whole picture and actually knew what he was talking about before thinking all sorts of weird theories.

" Please don't judge me," Jack said, his eyes, so sad, directed at him burned a hole into his soul. He stared at him while his body, on autopilot, leaned closer to him. For a second he doubted about taking Jack in his arms and hugging him, most of the times it was Jack doing it to him when he needed it, but he wanted to do it for Jack too, just this once. But in the end, he neglected the idea and kept himself where he was. He did squeeze Jack's hand again though after he'd pried it away from the wristband. Carefully he wrapped both his hands around his free one and felt the warmth radiation off of it.

"Never."

"Okay so when I stranded here, so many years ago, I found that maybe I could help some people because I felt this guilt at not being able to help my own family. One day I went out to help this woman. She'd been quite nice and she asked my help, so I went to her house… that's when everything turned to shit. She cursed me. Yes Ianto, witches are real." Shocked, he looked back at him. It couldn't be, witches were something of folklore. Of stories, people enjoyed reading or movies they liked to watch.

" She accused me of having a hero complex later, which might be true, but I just thought simply of it as helping someone in need." There was a short pause and a deep intake of breath before Jack began to talk again. His casted hand began to fumble with the wristband on his lap again.

" For as long as I don't find someone who can accept me for who I am, the real me, I will have to live on… forever. That's my curse, she cursed me with immortality and much more. I'll tell you that later. She did exactly what she wanted, made my life miserable. I've died so many times throughout the years that I've lost count, but I keep coming back to life. I've seen so many of my friends, of my lovers, die that I've become scared to attach myself. The truth is, that I've been alone, for such a long time, that I've forgotten what love really felt like… until I met you. I kept on living without really living a life. I know, it sounds cliche, but it's true."

"But why me?" He asked perplexed about Jack's confession.

"Ianto, you... you're something else completely, you are the first person in so many years who I've dared to tell my story to because you know… there's a catch. If I tell my story and I or the other doesn't feel love, then they would be in immediate danger.’’ Scared Jack looked him in the eye. There’d been something seriously wrong with that woman to bring someone that much pain in his life. He kept calm, there was nothing wrong with him, but he was afraid to hear about Jack’s horrors. About what that witch had let him go through.

After all, Jack was just another person like him, who had also been through too many horrors for a lifetime and was broken beyond measure.


	13. New Worlds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Self-harm

‘’Are you… fine? No urge to kill yourself?’’ His hand was squeezed, and a slight smile found its way towards his face. It was nice to know that someone was looking after you.

‘’No, why would I?’’ Jack looked afraid to say a word, but eventually, he did.

"Well, you know that catch I just mentioned? If it goes wrong, when there's no mutual love, or if they just couldn't believe it, then the other partner would kill themselves afterwards. Part of the curse. There’ve been too many women who have killed themselves in brutal ways right in front of my eyes.’’ Jack let go of his hand and put both on the wristband. 

‘’I don’t love this part, I do really hate it. It makes my heart clench to think about what could happen. I can't lose you, but I need to show you this." He opened up the wristband in his hands and pushed a button. Out of nowhere, their whole surroundings started to change. Gone was the white, sterilised hospital room and instead they were sitting on a sandy beach. His toes dived between the sand and his pockets filled with the tiny grains of sand. He could hear and see the sea lapping in front of him. The waves creating a calming effect on him. Far away into the sea, he could see something that looked like some kind of drilling platform.

"This is my home, the Boeshane Peninsula. Most of this colony just consists of grassy sand dunes and beaches." Jack said calmly from next to him. From the corner of his eye, he could see children playing and grownups talking while they kept an eye on the children.

"That's her… that's my daughter." He said pointing towards one of the girls playing catch with the boys. Her long brown hair was flying behind her while she ran, giggling, on the ever-changing sand. One look at Jack told him how much he missed her.

" That's the girl from your picture." Left his lips. 

"Yes, that's her. Her name is Jane. It's been a while since I've seen her. Since I've seen him." There only a few metres away from them stood Jack also conversing with another man. They looked happy.

" It's a memory we see right now, it's a day of my past when I was most happy. They can't see us." Jack's hands disappeared into the sand while he stared at his past self. His casts still there, but somehow didn't seem affected by the sand. It must've been a torture to see how happy you were and to know that you could never get that back.

"Can they see us?" Jack shook his head, but never averted his eyes from his family because that's what it was, he was watching a family gathering, he could clearly see that. He'd been to so many already that it was hard to miss.

"What was she like? Your daughter?" He asked mesmerized, as he watched his family interact. It was a truly enchanting world to have lived in, but nothing was as it had seemed. As the dangers had been almost constantly present. The girl, Jack's daughter fell down, probably on something hard, as she began to cry and clutch her knee while she was at it. Jack's past self stopped talking to the man and quickly walked towards the girl. He kneeled down and took her into his arms. A kiss found its way on top of the girl's head as he could hear soothing words escape his mouth.

" She was… my girl. I carried her, in the future, it's possible for men to get pregnant with medical assistance. I could feel her kicks, could watch her sleep for hours on end. She and my partner were my world. She was fierce, believed that every creature should get a second chance, kind, she loved learning about our past, but above all, she loved animals. She was always asking us for a pet or to go to the zoo with her." He'd turned his focus towards his Jack, the future Jack, when he spoke about his daughter - who currently was being carried away by past Jack on his shoulders - and it was visible that it hurt Jack a lot to talk about her, to talk about his past. A tear slipped past Jack's cheek as he stared at the retreating back of his family. Something had happened behind him, but he hadn't really noticed what as he'd been too worried about his Jack to watch the adorable family gathering behind him. When he took Jack's hand once again their surroundings changed back to the hospital room and their dark surroundings Jack's expression had turned anxious once more. It was like he expected something to happen, but he couldn't deliver.

" Maybe one day you can tell me more about them?" He whispered into thin air. He hoped Jack would hear him, but he didn't trust his voice enough to speak any louder. Whatever happened, it had put a damper on his mood and made him wish for Jack that he could've stayed in his own time, with his own family, instead of being condemned to stay here. 

"Are you alright?" Jack asked him aloud. His anxious face had turned more worried with the second, and that's when he remembered what Jack had told him. All the others had killed themselves after his revelation. But wonder by wonder, he hadn't, yet.

"I'm… Fine. If you mean the killing part at least. I'm just so sad that you had to leave them behind. It's not fair."

" I… what… I'm not sure…" Jack seemed very confused about everything. His hands went into his hair while he became a frantic mess. A strong wind blew through the room and silently he could hear a cackle that could've been from the woman who cursed him but could also come from the hallway. He knew for sure that John - who could act like a perfect witch, was perfectly capable of producing that sound - but this was something else, it felt different. No window or door was open so he knew for sure that something magical was happening in front of his eyes. Jack looked up in panic at him.

"Did you hear that?" He nodded as he watched Jack panicking. With the speed of light, Jack was out of the bed - and didn't even look in pain when he walked on his bad leg - he tried to persuade him to get back to the bed, but Jack didn't want to hear him or he had temporarily gone deaf. 

He could hear the rummaging of metallic objects through the drawer - on which a computer stood to constantly update his medical file - which scared him to death.

Quickly he stood up and ran after him, without looking he knew that he only had to take a few steps before he reached his side, but in those few seconds, the thing he feared he would do had already happened. He held a sharp scissor above the palm of his bad arm. Just like the day before, only then it had been a knife.

"PUT THE SCISSORS AWAY JACK!" He couldn't help his outburst, and he truly hoped no one would come to check on them. But he just had to get Jack to listen to him. If he truly had a problem with the urge to cut himself than he had to get help, not deny it and keep it going. Jack looked up at him, a glassy look in his eyes like he watched the thin air in front of him and didn't really see him standing there. This time, the scissors weren't situated above his wrist, but instead hung above his hand palm, luckily. While he walked slowly closer towards Jack, so as not to scare him and get the scissors situated in his body instead, he could see Jack's right hand gripping the scissors harder as the scissors were only millimetres away from his left hand's skin.

"Jack, please, don't do this again." But his pleading seemed futile when Jack pierced the skin of his palm. When the scissors clattered on the ground he made his way towards Jack as fast as he could and took his hand in his. Inspecting the wound he noticed that it didn't seem as deep as he'd thought it would be. It looked rather like a cutting accident, only a little deeper than just the upper skin.

Jack watched with bated breath for something to change. But nothing did, the wound didn't heal as it had before. Not even slower, because after an antagonising long hour it was still just as deep as it had been before. Was it really true?

"Jack, just tell me, what are you doing?" He had already tried to ask what felt like a thousand times during the period of an hour. Only this time, Ianto managed to pierce through his hypnotic kind of state.

He'd been so focused on his hand that he hadn't even noticed that Ianto had come to stop him. He blinked once, then a few times more before Ianto came into focus.

"I… I think I'm mortal." He whispered.

"You're what? Jack, what is going on?"

"I'm mortal. Or at least I think I am." He whispered again, a smile plastered itself on his face while glee took over his mind. Finally, he'd broken the curse. Out of pure ecstasy, he took his hand back and took Ianto's face between his hands. A still confused Ianto looked him in the eye when he delivered him an enthusiastic kiss on the lips - which lasted longer than he'd intended.

" We broke the curse." He told a still very confused looking Ianto. It had taken him so long, it had cost him so much heartbreak, that in his mind it was only logical to react so chipper. He'd been dreaming about this moment for such a long time.

" Are you sure?" Ianto asked him enthusiastically. This was why he loved Ianto so much, he would always be there for you when you needed him the most. And right now, he needed him to celebrate this with him… and maybe stitch his hand.

"Positive, otherwise this wound would've been long gone. Remember yesterday?" He drew up his sleeve and revealed the place on his wrist - of his good arm - where only yesterday a gaping wound had been. Now there wasn't even a sign that there had ever been something like that. Not even a scar. Amazed Ianto looked at him, Ianto Jones was something else.

" That's amazing, but what does that mean?"

‘’It means that I can finally die. That I can live life alongside you and not see you die while I have to live on for thousands of years. And god forbid, I'll turn grey.’’ He said far more enthusiastic than necessary.

\--0O0--

His head hurt a little because from all the information that had been thrown at him in the middle of the night. He still couldn't really comprehend it that Jack had been immortal all the while they'd known each other. And now, because all of this, Jack had finally become mortal again. It felt crazy, and he was definitely not going to tell it to anyone else if he didn't want to risk getting locked up in an asylum, but he still believed Jack with every fibre in his body.

He didn't know what it was, but Jack just had something that made you believe him on the spot, maybe they where his puppy dog eyes or maybe something else. He would have to find out sometime.

"So… what… you know... are we?" He didn't even dare say the word when he stood watching Jack lying down on his hospital bed again. It was so late that the sun had already declared to come up again. Within no time a doctor or nurse would come in and check Jack, to see if he could go home and they could get their hospital bed and room back for other patients.

"Well if you want, we could be dating. Or we could wait with that label until our first date? Whatever makes you comfortable." Jack explained through a few long yawns.

"Let's stick to dating and maybe you should get some sleep, it won’t be long before you're going to need to answer to their demands." He said and sat down on his own bed for the coming hours - which wasn't long.

" Why don't you hop in? Will be a lot more comfortable than that seems to be." He didn't answer that and just lay down on top of the covers.

" Oh come on Ianto, we've shared a bed before, nothing to be afraid of. And I'll promise I won't bite." Jack joked, in the end, he sat up and made his way to Jack. It was a tight fit, especially with all the wiring which had been coupled to Jack, but they lived. It felt nice to lay next to Jack while they faced one another. Jack's arm circled around his hips and stayed there while his eyes dropped close. 

" Goodnight Jack." He whispered before he himself fell asleep.

It was too soon, they didn't have enough sleep when they were rudely woken up at 7 am sharp.

" I'm sorry but who are you?" The kind nurse asked him. It seemed like barely anyone knew him outside his own ward.

"I'm sorry, Ianto Jones mam." He said, rubbing his eyes didn't particularly make his vision any less blurry when he sat up on the bed. His brain was still clouded by sleep when she'd asked him that.

" Yes, but why are you here? Are you Jack's relative?"

" Not really, I'm the closest thing he has, he doesn't have any living family anymore." He answered he reached for the bedside table on which he'd put his glasses just before he went to sleep.

"I'm sorry, but can you stay outside while the doctor comes to examine him?" He didn't really agree with her, but he didn't want to cause a scene. Especially not in the hospital he worked. He was in no mood to get fired any time soon.

"Sure. I'll be back." He said more to a wide-awake Jack than to the nurse. He passed the doctor who was going to examine him on the way out and went towards the bathroom. His… morning problem had become quite visible the moment he crawled out of the bed. This was going to get embarrassing.


	14. Home

" And?" He asked when the doctor went out and he marched back inside, no matter how filthily the nurse looked at him.

"Doctor says I can go home. He's going to get my discharge paperwork." Jack was smiling at him when he walked in, not even bothering that the nurse was still in and had done a complete 180 degrees on her mood. He just wished the nurse - and anyone else for that matter - would vanish - in thin air- from the room, so he could be alone with Jack. He blocked out the nurse and didn’t see her stern exterior anymore. All that mattered right now was getting Jack out of here.

‘’Alright, let’s get you out of these clothes then.’’ He declared and went for the plastic bag. A blush appeared on his face when he thought about what he was going to do.

" I can do it," Jack replied quickly, a bit too quickly. Looking up he could see his cheeks had flushed too, hopefully, they were thinking along the same line. This shouldn't even be a problem, he'd seen Jack half-naked - and even completely make once - a lot of times. He'd even had to help him into a new set of PJ's while he took care of him during his flu. Maybe it had something to do with the fact they'd finally made things official or maybe it was just that it finally dawned on him how much he liked to see Jack naked. To see his naked chest abs staring at him while he imagined doing all kinds of things to him. Yes, that definitely was distracting. Even now he was thinking of Jack's naked body. It might just be that his little morning escapade had left him quite horny.

" I'll just.. uhm… go to the hall." He said and dropped the bag on Jack's lap. He didn't dare face him before he saught his escape by fleeing the room.

It was only a few minutes later, after the doctor had re-entered the room, that all three of them came out. Jack was wheeled out in one of the hospital wheelchairs by the still stern looking nurse, what had happened that got her knickers in a twist? Quietly - and rather quick - they left the hospital and made their way towards his car. Naturally, he helped Jack, carefully, get in.

"Okay, let's go home." He told him with glee when he, finally, sat down in the driver’s side. The little sleep and the angst had worn him completely out. He was in desperate need of a nap.

\--0O0--

He was still on this kind of love high when they made their way to bed finally that night. Ianto had put some kind of strips across his wound - that bright morning - to replace stitches - for which they would have to ask a nurse to do it when they came to check on him, which might've arisen all kinds of suspicion. It hurt a little and his hand was wrapped in dressings, but he couldn't help but smile at finally reaching his goal. Maybe his mood just got better because Ianto finally decided to keep sleeping at his side. It felt nicer when he was there, next to him but still so far away. Only now they were dating, they were allowed to touch each other and without being weird about it. The covers were turned over as it seemed too hot a night to lie under it. His smile still etched on his face when Ianto finally came out of the bathroom and walked on bare feet towards their bed. He seemed quite sleepy, but even though he could see a smile on his boyfriends face. His arms folded behind his head and his hands clutching the sides of the pillow.

‘’That’s been quite the day,’’ Ianto told him with a breathy laugh. There was something twinkling in his eyes when he sat down on the bed. Something like mischief. Within a flash, Ianto went from sitting on the bedside towards sitting - with a mischievous smile on his lips - on his lap, his head hanging above his head.

‘’I’m so glad I can finally do this,’’ Ianto said, staring at his face while beginning to lean forwards. Their lips met and danced the familiar pattern of a steamy kiss. So worth it. His mischievous side crawled out the moment Ianto retreated with a dreamy look on his face. He was still clutching the pillow by then, not even being extra careful about his arm - or leg - which could still be broken, but which he thought had properly healed up a while before he became mortal. He took the pillow firmer in his hands and threw it at him. Ianto was caught off guard for a few seconds, so he took his chance, sat up straighter and threw his arms - the cast included - around his -now- boyfriend. Rather fast he drew them on the mattress together, Ianto lying flat on top of him while laughter rang through the air. He kissed the top of Ianto’s head and sniffed his hair, he knew that it looked weird, but there wasn't a care in the world he gave. This was another reason why everything had been completely worth it. On top of that, he could now finally talk to someone about his life without having to spin some lies. And he could finally go on and live his life.

"I still can't believe it, you're really mortal now?" Ianto asked him. Their current position did nothing to make things better, quite the opposite actually. He could feel his cock slowly hardening and so was Ianto's. A blush spread across Ianto's face as he took in the situation happening at the moment. It wasn't really something to be ashamed off, anyone knew about the sexual drive of human beings, but they only just started dating and he didn't want to spoil things by having sex right away.

"Yes…Uhm… I think so… I hope so." He said while he tried to lessen the friction between them. Finally, Ianto got the message and rolled off of his body onto his back. 

"Let's talk some more tomorrow, I'm whacked." Ianto tried to say through a yawn. His eyes closed as he lay on his side facing Jack.

" Dream of me," Jack whispered towards him as he too turned on his side, his hands under his head as he started staring at the beauty in front of him.

" Sure."

\--0O0--

It was a few days later on an early Saturday morning that he'd started feeling a little off. Jack's body had been healing quite as he'd expected and as their friends had all some surprise news to tell they'd scheduled a 'private' party at their home. His nerves had been working on him ever since he woke up that morning. Ever since that day, they'd been living in their own kind of bubble, nobody knew about their news, but he felt not quite ready to tell another living soul. Not even his sister, who had dropped off the kids for an hour yesterday.

"What time would they come again?" Jack asked from the kitchen. They'd been lying too long on bed and had just awoken from their slumber.

"8" 

"Shit. Fuck… ouch." Came from the kitchen. As he'd already been on his way towards there, he didn't rush but kept his own pace. When he arrived only seconds later he found a half-naked Jack applying something cold on his chest and a coffee-stained white shirt on the ground. Secretly he had to laugh about the scene right in front of his eyes, but he kept that for a later time and went to Jack's aid.

"How did you manage to do this now?" The weird thing about Jack was that he always managed to do things that others wouldn't, like tripping over thin air or burning himself on the most difficult places. 

"I was just trying to make some coffee." Jack pouted while he got the first aid kit out of the cupboard. His seemingly pristine shirt had the biggest stain on it he'd seen in quite a while, so that had to mean something at the least.

"You know it likes me better, maybe it's another curse, the curse of never being able to make some decent coffee in the presence of the coffee king." A laugh burst out of Jack's throat, it was rather nice to finally see Jack enjoying life as he'd done before the whole curse situation. 

"Yes, yes, let's just get this over with, it's actually really painful."

" Oh shut it, just be glad it didn't leave a blister or worse." He said playfully. He shuddered at the thought of having to call an ambulance because Jack had burned himself so badly.

"You're really making a habit of wounding yourself these past couple of days, are you trying to prove something?" He asked quickly afterwards, not leaving any room to let Jack react on his earlier observation. After having cooled it down a bit with a lukewarm cloth, he smeared some anti burning ointment on the spot and went to wash his hands.

"No make better kiss?" Jack pouted from behind him, he could actually imagine his lip turning down and his eyes looking like puppy dog eyes while he wasn't even facing Jack. Right now the sink looked like a much safer place to look at than at Jack as he feared to lose control of his emotions and most of all his hormones, again. He took a steadying breath and faced the music.

"Behave." He warned, turned around, picked up the shirt and kissed the pout off his lips all in one go. A few seconds later Ianto came back when he least expected it. He felt Ianto's body place itself flush against him from behind and an arousing kiss on his neck. He leaned his head back onto Ianto's shoulder and watched the little stubble he could see from closeby. He placed a kiss next to Ianto's mouth, as close as he could get to his lips, and felt him come undone. He could feel Ianto's hardening boner in between his butt cheeks and smirked at his lover.

"That feels good." Jack almost moaned.

"Yeah, well, and how does that feel now?" Ianto said and ran away. He heard the door of the bathroom slam shut and the lock being put in place.

" You bastard! Come back here!" He yelled a little too loud.

" Don't think so, some of us actually have to do something," Ianto said, he could actually hear a chuckle coming from the bathroom just before the shower was turned on. Great, just the picture he needed. When Ianto emerged from the bathroom a few agonisingly long minutes later Jack still had his raging hard-on to deal with, while Ianto looked perfectly fine, like nothing had happened. He rushed towards the table and collected his keys, wallet and the shopping list before he quickly kissed him goodbye and went towards the hallway where he could see him put on his shoes before leaving the house.

\--0O0--

Alcohol check. Cola check. Dinner check. 

" I'm sorry, you're Ianto right?" A woman who looked vaguely familiar said after tapping him on the shoulder. She stood - with her shopping cart - behind him and had only a few things in it, as he'd noticed after watching backwards to the person who tried to get his attention.

"Uhm yes, should I know you?" Intrigued he looked at her body language, nothing showed him that she had any - angry - intentions to him. Strangers could be quite weird sometimes.

"No, sorry, I'm Lily, I'm the woman who found Jack Harkness. Is he okay?" So she had to be the woman he saw standing in the hallway talking to the police while he walked into the room with Annie. 

‘’Oh, hi, yes he’s doing quite alright. No lasting damage, only some broken bones and a fierce headache.’’ He told her while he picked some crisps out of the box - not even knowing which flavour he chose - and lay it in his cart. 

‘’And… Uhm… how about you guys?’’ 

‘’What about us?’’ He asked, confused, it didn’t really make sense what she was asking.

‘’Well… He was whispering your name before he went out, so I figured.’’

‘’Oh did he? Oh.’’ The words left his lips on accident as he was quite shocked about that.

‘’Yeah. So I thought you guys where, you know, a couple.’’ Her cheeks began to flush and her hands gripped the shopping cart tighter.

‘’Well, yeah, it’s just really new, so I don’t really want to shout off the roofs yet. If you understand what I mean.’’ Her cheeks changed back to its normal blank colour and her hands relaxed. There was something wrong, he only couldn’t really point the finger to what exactly.

‘’I’ll let you go along now, congratulations… and take care of each other. Oh and tell Jack to enjoy life while he can.’’

‘’Will do.’’


	15. Confessing

‘’You back again?’’ Jack yelled when he heard the door open. 

‘’No, it’s Santa Claus, of course, it’s me,’’ Ianto yelled while struggling with all the bags in his arms.

‘’How for god’s sake, did you bring enough food to feed an orphanage?’’

"Haha, just help me." Came Ianto's dry response.

" Rose just called, she's safe. Apparently, she had a big row with her mum, Jackie, the day before she panic called you. You know how it goes with parents and grown-up kids in the same house, a row will ensue soon. Rose told me that she took a rash decision to hitchhike to Scotland because she wanted to see the world. She's back home now, I invited her to come stay in Cardiff one day." He said while he walked behind Ianto. With his one arm, he took out the groceries and began to neatly store them away where they belonged. He'd become quite inventive in doing everything with one hand. And his leg didn't even hurt that bad when he walked on it - he had a special walking cast.

"Remind me for a second, cause I don't think you ever explained, how did you know Rose again?" Ianto asked with a frown and handed him the milk to put in the refrigerator.

"Oh yeah, that's right. Sorry, never came up again so I forgot. About 4 years ago I worked in London at a car repair shop." He started but was interrupted by Ianto.

"I'm sorry, a car repair shop. You know how to fix a car? " He seemed perplexed about the thought of it being possible.

" Yes, why does that seem so weird?"

" I don't know, I just never figured you to do that kind of job."

" Well, I did, kept me busy. So I had some mates there and one of the men was Rose's boyfriend Mickey. He introduced us and we went out as a group of friends a few times. Fast forward some months and we became best friends. It's weird, they were the first people in a long time who made me feel like life wasn't just about seeking out love. That breaking the curse wasn't all I needed to work on. That friends were just as important to have around you. We just became a really close group of friends, me, her and Mickey. Funny thing, for about a year she lived with me after she finally moved out of her mother's flat. Lived in my spare room and we had lots of fun together. Then she moved in with Mickey. And suddenly the flat felt… lonely. Eventually, I had to go, because people would notice I didn't age, Rose knew there was something different with me but she didn't know the truth. About half a year before I met you I moved to Cardiff and left London behind me. It broke my heart to leave her, she was the best friend I ever had. But we kept in touch through the phone. Last I heard before today was that she broke up with Mickey and moved back to her mum's." He fully acknowledged that he'd started to ramble. He just wanted to tell Ianto about Rose, without him having to start feeling jealous. Which might actually be harder than he imagined on first thought.

"It's weird, I never felt anything romantic towards her, only friendship." He added as an afterthought. It was the truth and nothing but the truth. He didn't just say it to make Ianto feel better.

"Okay, if you say so." Ianto started looking down at the bottle of wine he was holding in his hand. He put his fingers under Ianto's chin and aimed his eyes towards him.

"Nothing to be afraid of, we're just best friends, like you and Tosh." He placed a quick kiss on Ianto's plush, soft lips and afterwards stole the bottle out of his hands to put it away. After all the groceries had been put away he single-handedly folded the bags and put them away for later use.

Ianto had been silent throughout it all and he worried that he'd said something wrong.

"What's going through that thick skull of yours?" He asked when they were sitting down on the couch for a few minutes before they would have to start preparing the food.

"I'm… just taking it all in."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?"

" Not sure, let's just say I'd quite like to see that Rose of yours now. "

" Feeling jealous are we?" He teased which resulted in a flushed Ianto. He liked teasing him more than he should be. 

" Don't worry, there's nothing to be jealous about. Now how did shopping go?" He asked to change the subject. One day he would introduce Ianto to Rose and he would see why there was nothing to worry about.

"Quite uneventful actually, some dog shot in front of the car and almost got himself killed while I tried to avert him. A kid peed his pants in front of the store. Oh and uhm I met that woman who found you after your accident Uhm what was her name… oh Lily!" He just put his foot up on the couch so it could rest a little when he heard him say the name of the woman he'd hope to never see or hear of again.

" What did she want?" He tried not to say too panicked.

" Uhm, just how you were doing. Oh and… about us." 

" What do you mean about us?"

" Exactly what it means. She guessed that we were in a relationship and wanted to know if she was right." Puzzled, Ianto looked him in the eye.

" Is something wrong with that?" 

"No, no… just surprised. What did you tell her?" 

" The truth. Well, a simple version of it." One day he would tell Ianto who that woman really was and why he was so shocked, but today was not that day. And he was granted some secrets in his life.

" Oh, almost forgot, she told me to tell you to enjoy life while you can." He nodded to him in thanks. He was quite sure that there was some hidden meaning behind those words, but right now he just didn't want to find that out yet. So he masked his feelings and went on with the day. Looking at the clock showed him that they were far behind schedule.

"Right. Let's cook." He said far more cheerful than he felt on the inside, but he knew that he wasn't the only one as Ianto smiled at him with false cheer.

"Yeah, those bell peppers aren't going to cook themselves."

\--0O0--

" So everyone present here is here for one reason and one reason only, alright maybe two. To share news. Who wants to go first?" Jack asked the group after he'd handed them all something to drink. Alcohol had been pretty much what all of them favoured on such a night out, but there were a few exceptions - as always. For one, he really didn't like to drink himself into oblivion, so he always opted for something non-alcoholic. But this time Gwen had chosen some cola too, which was quite surprising as she would always go for getting hammered if she didn't have to do something important the next day. He had a suspicion, but he would have to wait until the truth was revealed to know for sure. Rhys bumped his elbow onto Gwen's to get her attention. Rhys could clearly not wait to tell their secret.

"I'm quite sure Rhys wants to go first," Ianto said from next to him, a mischievous smile on his face and something wonderful twinkling in his eyes. They all turned towards the married couple who beamed at them.

" You guys might've already guessed, but I'm pregnant. Surprise!" Her hands went towards Rhys's and took them in hers. She smiled at him like he was her whole world while they let the news sink. It was like he knew he sometimes stared at Ianto when he knew he wouldn't see him.

" That's… are you for real?" Tosh asked her, she seemed genuinely shocked and couldn't believe it. 

"Yes, it finally happened. 11 weeks to the day." She responded looking at them all. Rhys looked like the proud man he knew he would be. From what he'd heard through Ianto they had been trying for a while now, so he was really glad they finally got what they wanted. There was always the slight possibility that it could go wrong, but sometimes you just had to stay positive and think good thoughts, otherwise, life would get so depressing. A round of congratulations followed soon after. They got hugged, slapped on the back - on Rhys's part - and even kissed on the cheek. He let out a cheer of joy for his friends and watched them from afar celebrating this tiny miracle of life.

" Just come here, Jack," Gwen said, quite emotional from all the hugging. He followed suit and hugged her tiny frame. Joyful, he placed a kiss on top of her hair, he was glad that he met Ianto because with him he just gained some incredible friends who he wouldn't trade for the world.

"Do you have any cravings yet?" Ianto asked. He was the first to speak up after their celebratory hug.

" I don't think so yet, although I've been really looking forward to your stuffed bell peppers. They smell delicious." The bell peppers were still in the oven, slowly baking themselves away at 250⁰ degrees.

"Be patient, they're almost done," Ianto said after laughing at her response. 

" Well, I think we can all vouch that Ianto here is the best cook of us all. So that shouldn't be too big of a miracle if he makes something delicious." Tosh started after the conversation had fallen silent. They all chimed in with a yes.

"So next person. Who's going?" Gwen asked as she had been the first one to start she could ask who would go next. Without saying anything Tosh just stuck out her hand to let the others see her engagement ring. It didn’t even need to be said, everyone knew immediately what it meant. And for him and Ianto, it was less of a surprise as they’d literally been in the room when it happened. Aah, good times.

‘’You’re engaged? How? When did that happen?’’ Gwen squealed in happiness. 

"Uhm.. well, not that long ago. It's all still fairly new." Her cheeks started to blush more than he was used to from her. Honestly, she looked ready to jump behind the curtains and hide from Gwen's hurt gaze. Rhys whispered something in her ear that would probably be something along the line of 'be kind Gwen'. As if on cue her shocked and angry face turned into one full of surprise and glee. Like he'd seen many women - in movies and series do - they hugged each other and Gwen started to admire the ring on her hand. He could hear her gushing about how beautiful it looked and how lucky she was to have Owen. Weirdly enough it took only a few minutes before their heads - as if they'd planned it - turned - in synchrony - towards him and Ianto. A little scared, he took one step backwards and bumped his leg towards the couch. He looked back, not knowing that he'd already been so close towards that piece of furniture.

"You two have been rather quiet. What's your big news?" Owen directed the question towards them both, but Ianto actually was the one to start talking, although stuttering.

"We… we…" Ianto started, in spite he watched Ianto trying to come out of his words. There, actually, was no right way of saying this. But they could try.

He took a few steps forward until he stood next to Ianto. Carefully, as to not scare him, he took Ianto's hand in his. He looked him in the eye and brought their entwined hands into the air. He probably had one of those dopey smiles on his face while he stared Ianto straight in the eye, but he didn't care much about that. As long as their friends understood what they tried to tell them without words.

"FINALLY!" Chorused through the air. Almost simultaneously their friends began to speak. It felt kind of funny actually, but one look to his side showed him that Ianto wasn't thinking along the same line. He stood watching them speechless.

"You guys owe me." Owen started to interrupt the unbelievable cheers. Owen, not looking at him or Ianto, looked like he'd won the lottery.

"You knew?" Ianto mumbled just hard enough for the others to hear while they started to fish out their wallets.

"Come on Ianto, it's been rather obvious for while now that you fancy him. It was only a matter of time before it happened. Especially since you guys sleep together." Owen said while he was handed a 20-pound note by Gwen. 

" Wait, what the hell do you guys think we're doing?" Ianto exclaimed pretty soon after everything dawned on him.

" Calm down Ianto, Owen just means sleeping, nothing else." Tosh tried to reassure him but didn't completely succeed.

"What the fuck did you guys bet on?" For a few seconds, there was this eerily silence. He tugged Ianto closer towards him and got him to focus on only him.

"It doesn't matter." He whispered into his ear. On his way back up he left a kiss on Ianto's cheek. Everything to keep him distracted from killing or wounding Owen - and possibly the others too.

" Just that you two were going to announce your relationship today." Rhys chipped in, with a pained look he said goodbye to his twenty-pound note and watched Owen's gleeful face. Relieved he let out a sigh, luckily it hadn't been anything worse. Suddenly a shrill beeping noise went through the air and temporarily distracted them from letting things escalate.

"I think that's our cue." He said to Ianto. Together they went towards the kitchen and prepared their food in silence. They would talk about everything that happened later, now was their evening to enjoy their newfound love. He took the salad bowl in his hand and went on to put it on their kitchen table, only he stopped and turned around before he left Ianto alone in the kitchen to put a kiss on his neck.

" I love you, never forget that." He whispered to him. Today they would celebrate, tomorrow they would worry about telling everyone else.

" I said it once, and I'll say it again. I love you, you dumbass." Ianto responded.

For now, he just wanted to enjoy whatever they could and not worry about the world outside because if he knew one thing it’s that their friends would always have their back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing all sorts of things right now, but I'm also quite busy trying to finish this sequel before the end of the year. I do have a surprise in store though.


End file.
